If I Stay✔️

27

A/N - Please try and keep an open mind for this chapter. Having lost someone really important to me to suicide, I tried to put my own feelings into Em, Cal and Carter. To this day -three years later- the guilt of feeling angry -after witnessing first hand how much pain and self blame your loved ones go through due to the loss- still haunts me.

We can't help how we feel, we can only choose how we act on those feelings.
Just keep that as a reminder please <3

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T R I G G E R  W A R N I N G;
Mentions of suicide.

"We need to get him to the hospital, now." The raven haired paramedic stated. "His pulse is really weak, he'll more than likely crash again and I'd prefer if he did that in the hospital." She admitted, causing Charlie to raise his eyebrows at her bluntness.

After inserting a breathing tube down the fifteen-year-olds throat, two of them began loading Leo onto the stretcher, whilst the other two focused on Grey.

"His pulse is weak, he's at risk of secondary drowning." The ginger man turned and addressed his raven haired colleague. "We need to blue light them both."

"What's going on?" Zac inquired, his eyes glancing between his two brothers.

"There's not much we can tell you sir," The ginger man -who introduced himself as Sean-stated. "We need to get them both to New York Press, the doctors will be able to tell you more than we can."

"What does secondary drowning mean?" Ace asked worriedly, gazing at Grey's unconscious body.

Sean sighed, never once pausing in his steps, he continued up the slippery mud hill as he answered Ace's question. "It means he has water in his lungs and is still at risk of drowning even though he's out of the river."

"He'll be okay though, right?"

Sean turned his head to the teenager, his eyes filled with what Ace could only assume to be either pity or sympathy. "Hopefully kid."

"C'mon." Zac gently gripped Ace's hand. "You and Car are going to go with Grey."

Ace's grip on Zac's hand tightened, panic ridden blue eyes widened as they locked to Zac's. "Where are you going?" He asked nervously, he didn't want to be away from Zac right now.

"Em and I are going with Leo. Cal, Jack and Alex are going with Ryan." Zac said softly, he knew Ace was going to be overly clingy. "I'll meet you at the hospital bambino, I promise I'll be right behind you, sì?"

"Yeah," Ace swallowed thickly, "Okay."

Zac pressed a chaste kiss on his younger brothers forehead, only releasing his hand as Carter wondered towards them. Zac turned to him, keeping his voice low as for Ace not to hear. "Keep an eye on him."

They all knew of Ace's anxiety, separation anxiety to be exact. It first became known to them after their parents death and Lily's kidnapping. Ace would cling to them constantly, crying dramatically anytime they had to be separated, whether that be school or even a simple trip to the grocery store.

Gradually, Ace started getting better, he learned how to cope and he was doing well, that was until their grandfathers death. The loss causing Ace to spiral once again.

This -his severe anxiety- was one of the many reasons the boys rarely allowed for new people to join their friend group, Ace simply couldn't handle getting close to others. He had this overwhelming fear that if he cared enough, then one day that person would be gone, that they'd leave him too- just like his parents and grandfather had.