50. Day Seventy Two of Growing

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I rub two fingers against my temple, trying to ease some of the pain in my head and the frustration that is coursing through my being

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I rub two fingers against my temple, trying to ease some of the pain in my head and the frustration that is coursing through my being.

My eyes can barely stay open at this point, but I force them to keep me awake as I look at the image of a blurring Elliot through the screen of my laptop.

He's talking on the phone to someone from the hospital, which is how it's been on and off for the past forty-five minutes of us being on a video call.

Rolling my shoulders, I try to ease some of the pain that I'm carrying there after the length of the day that I've had.

Today, is not one of our best days.

We're both tired and irritable.

Me, because I had a long day, came home tired and hungry, waited for Elliot to talk to him for three hours because he ran late at the hospital and accidentally overslept, and because I've been watching him talk to other people over the phone, more than he's spoken to me during the forty-seven minutes and fourteen seconds of our call.

Elliot because he overslept, has been getting bombarded with calls from the hospital, is tired and my bad mood is probably not helping.

It's usually so easy, to see Elliot be annoyed by something that has happened and just talk to him, until he calms down himself. His irritations are usually over senior doctors who aren't very personable, or patients' families who are reluctant to get treatment. I've never seen Elliot angry, only irritated. I'm sure there's a difference between the two emotions in him.

Today, with the throbbing in my head and my body's desperate need to rest, I can't seem to muster up any calm energy. I know I should. I know I should be helpful towards easing his mood and that me being annoyed helps nothing, but logic isn't hitting my energy addled brain.

There's a silence from the other end of the line and I focus my bleary eyes on the screen and see Elliot toss his phone on to the tabletop, lean forward, drop his shoulders and rub his eyes with the bases of his palms.

It's so obvious that he's too tired for this, but he keeps persisting.

Elliot's hair is off-duty.

On any other day, I would have smiled about it, but today, I have no energy for it.

"El," I groan, dragging out the word.

A pained murmur escapes him and he rubs his eyes again. "I'm sorry, Aura," he raises his head, "It's done. No more calls."

"El, you said that three calls ago. Please, let's just go to sleep. We need it."

"Aura, I promised you that we will speak today. We haven't spoken properly in over a week."

"This isn't talking, El. This is me trying to stare at a screen while you take calls. I'm tired, El. I know you're tired, too."

Elliot sighs deeply, looking back at me. "I'm trying, Aura."

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