Kiss It Better, Dr. Ross

A. E. The Inevitable

Three weeks later...

"Are you sure?" Ryan watched Brendon through the mirror.

Brendon was sitting on a stool in front of the bathroom sink. He'd been looking at his reflection, straight face, not saying a thing. Ryan could see the way his body shook to the rhythm of his foot bouncing. Brendon was also chewing the inside of his cheek. The hint of iron danced over his tongue as he gnawed at the skin. 

Brendon's shoulders rose as he took a deep breath. With the exhale, he nodded, still not opening his mouth.

Ryan gave him another moment to change his mind before reaching for the razor on the counter. Brendon's eye stayed forward as Ryan brought the razor to the side of his head.

"Ready?"

With a nod, Brendon shut his eyes. The sound of the razor turning on startled him, making him jump.

"Sorry," Ryan said but didn't pull away. His hand hovered next to Brendon's head, working up the courage to continue on. His vision grew slightly blurry for a second before he blinked away the forming tears as he finally made contact and shaved the first strip of Brendon's hair off.

The chunk of hair floated down to the ground, collecting at Ryan's feet. He took his own deep breathing before moving onto the next strip. The hair piled up on the floor, some clumps larger than others.

Brendon had begun losing his hair already and couldn't handle seeing the patches that were beginning to form. After a lot of thinking and one mental breakdown, he decided to cut it off before the chemo beat him to it. 

Ryan volunteered to shave with him which Brendon instantly declined. Brendon needed someone's hair to play with if not his own and he couldn't bare seeing Ryan without his hair. It was certainly a cursed image in his mind. 

Spencer also volunteered to which Brendon also declined. It was one thing to shave his own head, but another to see the ones he loved feel like they needed to do the same. He didn't think he could handle seeing them like that because of him. 

Every so often, Ryan would glance in the mirror to see Brendon frowning. It must've been an unconscious reaction because the man didn't seem to be in pain or any physical discomfort. An ache swelled in Ryan's chest at the internal turmoil this was causing Brendon. 

Ryan took great care in getting the little hairs that stuck out from behind Brendon's ears. He occasionally walked from one of Brendon's sides to the other, making sure to cut every strand he could find. 

When done, he flipped off the razor and ran his hand over Brendon's scalp, feeling the even cut. When he pulled away, he stepped back and waiting.

Brendon's bottom lip was trembling before he even opened his eyes. Once he finally peered into the mirror, tears immediately flooded his eyes. Never had he wanted a shaved head and now he was staring at someone who might as well be a complete stranger to him.

Ryan moved in between Brendon and the sink and squatted down. Brendon's head was down, buried in his hands. Ryan pulled his hands from his face and held them tightly. Brendon's eyes grew red as tears stained his cheeks.

"Hey," Ryan spoke softly. Brendon didn't respond, but Ryan continued. "You're doing so well. You can do this. We're right here for you. Okay."

Brendon nodded and let out a sob. Ryan got up and pulled him to his chest. He let Brendon cry while he held him tight. They stayed in that position for almost ten minutes before Brendon calmed down. When they pulled apart, Ryan gave him a loving kiss.

"You got this, babe."

Brendon wiped away the last of his tears and gave a pitiful smile. "I got this," he repeated.