Falling for a Maximoff

Chapter 57: Driving and thoughts

Pov y/n

I nervously tap the steering wheel while I wait for mom to join me. She's currently talking to Tony who caught us going to the garage. They have been talking a lot the past week, since the meeting with all the Avengers on how and if we should destroy the Red Room.

It's been also a week since Wanda and I talked about her past and trust. We had further talks the next few days, mostly at night when we laid in bed.
She assured me that she feels horrible for lying to me and hopes to earn my trust back eventually. There were a few tears, on both sides but we always talked it out until we both could go to sleep calmly.

Wanda sometimes is a little more hesitant when it comes to showing me affection, as if she was unsure if I was okay with it. It hurts me to see her like this but also shows me that she really cares what I feel and think. She doesn't want to push me and gives me time to process my feelings and thoughts. I always told her it's okay and she can sit on my lap and cuddle with me, which always made her smile widely.

That was also one of the things we talked about and I assured her that I don't love her any less than before. The trust is the part that got hurt but not my love for her.
That night she cried and I hold her in my arms. She apologized like a hundred times, feeling bad for having broken my trust. And I know it sounds mean or something like that but that was the moment, I fully and truly forgave her.

I also could feel the trust building up again and it felt like it never was broken. It may sound cruel that it took a crying Wanda for that but for some reason that night showed me that she really was sorry and felt guilty. Her reaction showed me how much it hurts her to have hurt me and that's what told me that she won't do it again. She couldn't live with herself if she ever broke my trust again, at least that's what I think and therefore my trust in her is regained.

I know, it's maybe a little fast and naïve but I do trust her and I also want to trust her. I love her so much and so does she and fights are normal in relationships and we just settled our first one. It's too soon to tell if it made us stronger so far but it at least didn't weaken us.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when mom sits next to me and closes the car door.
"Sorry, Tony just needed my opinion on something." She explains and fastens her seatbelt. I nod and smile at her. She returns the smile and waits for me to adjust everything.
Nervousness fills my body again as I adjust the seat, the steering wheel and the mirrors. I double check everything and take a deep breath. Mom patiently waits for me to get ready.

"Everything okay, malyschka?" She asks, noticing my nervous state. I nod my head first before shaking it. Mom has been teaching me how to drive for a couple of weeks now and I feel like it would be smart to talk about what I'm feeling.

"Not quite. Now please, don't take that the wrong way, mom." I say and bite my lip while turning to look at her. She just smiles kindly and waits for me to go on, not seeming offended at all.

"It's just...driving makes me feel anxious. I don't really know why but it does and then I get nervous. I know that you're always with me and will take care of me and protect me but still, it makes me anxious. A part of me is looking forward to the driving lessons because I'm excited to get my license but the other part is scared. It's been on my mind for a while now, maybe because the first few lessons didn't go that great." I get quieter with each sentence and look down at my fingers that fiddle in my lap. Silence fills the car for a few seconds until mom speaks up.

"Can you look at me, y/n?" She asks in a calm, kind voice. I lift my head to look at her, scared to see disappointment in her eyes. But there is nothing but warmth and love in them.

"Thank you." She says with a smile and takes my hands in hers calmingly stroking over my knuckles.

"Learning how to drive is scary and the road is a scary place, I know that. But I also know that you are strong and smart and will be able to handle it. It's a lot in the beginning but I promise you, it will get easier and soon it will be fun. But that doesn't mean I will force you or push you to learn how to drive if you're not comfortable with it. This is not about me, this is about you. And if you decide, you wanna take a break from the driving lessons, there's nothing wrong with it and I won't be mad at all. Even if you decide, you don't want to get your license, I won't be mad or disappointed. It's about you being comfortable with what you're doing. And yes, the first few lessons weren't on an advanced level but how could they? You've never driven a car before, how are you supposed to do it perfectly at first try? You will gain experience with each drive because it is a process, like everything else. I will support you in whatever decision you will make, no matter what. So please don't worry about what I think because, as I said, this is about you." She ends and I feel a smile tugging on my lips.

"Thank you, mom. Really, I appreciate it a lot. And you're right, it's a process, I can learn how to get better. But it still doesn't take away the worry to annoy other people in the traffic." I share my thoughts and glance down onto our hands before looking back up at her. Her expression is still soft.

"That is true but if it helps you, whenever someone honks, yells or anything else, they don't do it to you, they do it to me because I'm the one teaching you. So each honk is meant for me and just means you're not pacing through the traffic like some maniac, which is a good thing."

I smile at her words and feel myself calming down. Putting it like that takes pressure off me and I feel a little less anxious. Also, knowing that I'll have her full support, no matter what I do, feels good.
I take in a deep breath and nod.

"Thank you, that really helps. I want to try it further and I really want to get my license at some point but we don't have to rush anything, right?" I make sure and look at my mom. She nods.

"Absolutely right, no rush." She assures and now I'm the one nodding.

I take my hands out of hers to buckle up and start the car. I put in the gear and slowly but surely drive us out of the garage. We extra choose a car that Tony won't cry about if it gets a scratch, not that I would scratch the car but still.

When I pull out onto the road, I am glad that it's empty as always and feel myself getting used to driving again, gaining confidence slowly. To fill the silence, mom puts on calm, silent music and I feel myself getting less anxious.
When I feel safe, I start to talk to my mom, my eyes glued to the road ahead of us.

"What did Tony want your opinion on?" I ask and turn right.
"We've been working on a plan to destroy the Red Room, as you know and he had an idea on what to do with the widows who maybe don't have a home anymore." She explains and I nod, too concentrated on the traffic to answer right away.

"And what are you gonna do with those widows?" I ask once the situation cleared off.
"We will look for a place where they can stay, like apartments." She tells me the plan and I nod, thinking about it.

"But that's nothing you have to worry about now, malyschka. As soon as we have a plan, we will tell you and the other Avengers." She adds, her voice still soft, implying that I don't have to think about it much more.

I know they will inform me in the end but I still like the updates on how far the plan is so far. I really want to help those women and girls and hope mom and Tony will work out something that will do that.

If I had more knowledge considering this, I would help but I doubt that I have ideas that they haven't come up with yet. Mom promised me though to tell her any ideas and thoughts I have about that and she will talk to Tony about it.

It slowly takes on a form and I'm nervous and excited to see what the plan will be and how it will work out. But right now that's not what I should concentrate on, I will think about that as soon as they have a plan. 

A/n: Translations:
Malyschka = Baby

Thank you for reading and love to you all <3