broken doll [teen wolf]

[chapter fourty seven] the girl was a stranger

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER! 

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

Aires pov...

It was silent as we all walked off the elevator and into the apartment. Nobody had spoken yet, nobody wanted to speak. I could feel Allison's eyes burning into the back of my head as I slowly walked into the kitchen.

Did I take it too far?

"Aires."

Chris's voice sent a rush of chills through me as goosebumps broke out across my skin. A small sigh slipped past my lips, I couldn't run this time.

"We need to talk about what happened at the loft."

"Nothing I say will satisfy you Chris." I mumbled back with a shrug.

"I need you to be honest."

"Why? You already know the answer to the question."

Everyone knew, it wasn't exactly a secret. Yes, I pulled a gun on myself. Yes, I pulled the trigger. And yes, the intention behind it was for the bullet to get buried deep inside my head.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't gonna do it for my own selfish intentions. I wanted death. I almost had it. I was living in a world that wanted me dead.

But I also pulled the trigger to help put to sleep this whole nightmare.

"Aires." Allison whispered, though I refused to look at her.

I couldn't look at her, no after she witnessed me trying to take my life for a second time. Guilt flooded me as I pushed my legs to move in the direction of my room. I needed air, I needed something. I needed a high.

I needed my escape.

As I slammed my bedroom door behind me I came face to face with the boy I had been desperately avoiding the past week. Clearly the universe wasn't on my side.

"Aiden."

"Aires."

"You need to leave."

I had yet to meet his eyes, instead I focused on the wall beside his head. Some would say it was cowardly, that after everything that happened I should have been jumping into his arms. But I couldn't forget the way he made me choose between saving my best friend's life and our relationship.

I was still in love with him, that never changed. But the way I thought about him did. How could you love someone yet hate them at the same time?

"I'm not leaving."

"You leave or I will." I challenged, a small mocking smile crept onto my lips as I cocked my head to the side. "It's not nice to have an ultimatum thrown at you, is it?"

"You put a gun to your head."

"Yes." I bluntly shot back, my lips pressed into a line as my eyes narrowed on him.

"You pulled the trigger."

"Yeah I did. Are you here to run through the events of the day, because this conversation is boring me."

"WHAT ISN'T CLICKING IN YOUR HEAD, AIRES? YOU PUT A GUN TO YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND PULLED THE TRIGGER."

I knew what I did, nobody had to remind me of what almost happened, what I hoped happened.

I didn't have the energy to fight Aiden, not another time. Most of our relationship was us fighting, it was what we did best. Fight and fuck. But as I stood in front of the boy, I couldn't help but feel exhausted by his presence. The longer he stared at me the longer the itching sensation of taking a couple pills burned inside of me.