Initial Conditions

new years resolution

resolved to end this intense silence,
i ask to retract my past statements,
ask you to release me from my covenants,
ask to establish diplomatic ties.
adamant that where there is open communication, fewer conflicts arise,
i ask, shouldn't we be free to express or request the way each thinks and what each feels at least every once in a while?
i won't question, rehash, inquire, demand, or invite,
unless said privileges you specify,
neither will i your privacy or trust betray,
nor withhold the truth, deceive,
or embarrass you in any way.
can you promise me the same?
the terms of our previous agreement haven't ever felt right.
i defend you to the end, and will still, even if you don't have a place for me in your life.

🎉

The majority of my poetry revolves around resolving the issue of a damaged relationship I have with someone whose friendship I lost foolishly a few years ago. This poem focuses on a promise that I made and keep only because it's what I think they want or wanted. As time passes, it becomes both harder and more meaningful for me to honor it; and yet, I wonder if it's even what they still want.

Will reaching out after these years of silence mend or rend our relationship? Each day I ask myself if I should make the first move or wait, if it means living the rest of my life without having explained why, expressing my feelings, or even trying.