Dreamland Review Archive

THE CRYSTAL HOUSE (CY)

Title: Crystal House

Genre: Fantasy

Author: feechi17

Cover: 7/10

Right off the bat, I love your cover. The wispy magical elements definitely convey that this is a fantasy novel, but it could still use some work. The cover-image resolution on Wattpad isn't great in the first place, but it just seems like everything but the title on yours is super blurry. I'd recommend finding the original, less-blurry version of this image—or another one entirely with less geographical features for Wattpad's resolution to ruin. My second issue is with the way your castle or "house" in the image is crooked halfway up. It definitely looks to be edited that way, but it just kind of adds to the blurry confusion. The green wisp is good, and I love the little lights that really show off your fantasy themes.  Also keep in mind that your text should stand out against the cover, so if it's the same color or looks flat against the background, it won't be very easy to read. Your cover is nice enough to bring some readers, but the overall quality just isn't there.

Blurb: 8/10

This is a really great blurb already, so I don't have much to say other than that some information could be omitted just because it doesn't seem necessary. You want your blurb to be short and snappy, so definitely limit it to the most important facts, but also leave the readers with some questions. For example, the very first part in your blurb, I get that it's a connection to the magical elements in this book, but I don't feel like it's necessary to put in the blurb. This information would be better in a prologue or something like that, so you can immediately jump into explaining your story with your blurb.

Here's some edits I made to your blurb, rewording a couple things, adding missing punctuation, and excluding information that doesn't seem necessary:

P1 - The Crystal House has opened its doors to twelve adults from all over the world. Each stands a chance to win $100,000 after twenty days. The task seems simple: come out victorious after six games and be the last man or woman standing.

(By shortening sentences and keeping commas to a minimum, you get a more dramatic entrance to your blurb.)

P2 - But there's more to the House than any of them know. Their progress in the games is connected to an otherworldly past they all share, and the last six remaining will discover a hidden land that lies asleep, waiting for their return. 

(In this one, I love the capitalization of House, it really illustrates that there's something going on here. I also replaced "country" with "land" just because it sounded better. If "country" is more accurate, feel free to ignore that.)

P3 -  In another world where magic is the norm, secrets are unearthed, family bonds are shattered, and these individuals must test the limits of who they really are.

P4 -  (I feel like this paragraph is unnecessary, but could also serve as a nice little introduction before you launch into your full blurb, so right where you have that first part now. I like to include this because it offers a nice little preview to readers scrolling on Wattpad.)

 Chapter by Chapter: 7.5/10

Chapter 1: Invitation Letter

I like how you started the chapter off with the letter, but I feel like this letter is very much lacking. If we're setting the stage for a super-fantasy game ahead, you'd think the letter would be slightly more enticing…? Also, I know some comments have already pointed out the incorrect address format, and though it seems like no big deal, fixing this little detail makes your story much more accurate. And to illustrate how it's on an entirely different continent, you could have her sigh and mutter under her about it. Just something like that. Also, since this letter is a section in itself, the quotation marks are really unnecessary.