Sight of Today

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"You think so? After leaving me without proper goodbye. After making me wait for so long. You think I would survive? Yes, I've become crazy for you. I didn't even get to graduate highschool because I was too focus on waiting for you." He laughed without humor.

What?

"I did forgot you and our memories but you know what? I was thankful for that. All I remember was in highschool, I didn't get to graduate, I was bullied, my mom was disappointed at me and I was a wreck. That alone is already depressing, do you think that with our memory together, it'll make it all better? No. With our memory, probably, you wouldn't see the alive Aiden today because you were the reason why all of that happened to me and I can't live hating on you."

I was immobile. As much as I want to walk out, no streangth was left in me.

"You know why I can't live hating  you?" He asked.

I gulped but I couldn't answer him.

"Because I don't want to regret loving you. And in order not to regret anything, I will need to kill myself just so I couldn't hate you. How crazy I am right?" 

My fist clenched, as I part my mouth but I couldn't find a word to utter as I was left of words.

"And yes. I loved Rhiana. I loved her because she was the one who's been by my side while I was a wreck because of you. She's the one who helped me get out from that state but now that every part of my memory, even if I hate you for leaving me alone. Even if I hate you for wrecking my life, I still . . . love you." He whispered those last words as if they were just too hard to utter.

"No, you don't. It's the memory that you love, Aiden. And that memory itself is what I love too." I said coldly.

"Is me being a wreck not enough for you to believe how you gave me scar and trauma?" 

I turned to him with my impassive expession while his face was full of emotions.

"So what are you trying to imply? That you were regretting all your memories with me came back? That you regret why you still love me now even with how evil I was with you back then?" I scoffed.

"You don't know the pain I felt when you were away. And now you're mad because of that? Yes! I kissed her. But that was before I confessed! I was confuse when you suddenly came back because your lips felt familiar, your actions seemed nostalgic, my feelings became confused, you gave me all the feelings I couldn't understand and wanting to prove myself you were nothing but a stranger, I did that!"

"I don't know the pain you felt?" I huffed incredulousl . "Well, guess what? You don't know the pain I felt too when I left you!" 

He let out a scoff of disbelief.

"You were in pain? Considering how selfish you are, I bet that." He shook his head as if he believed I did that for my own good.

"What?" I can't help but to ask in pain.

"You never love me. You just pitied me and now you're guilty so you kept on finding that same weakling whom you victimized and manipulated. But he's gone now, I want him gone because that weakling was crazy for you, he's willing to risk his future, his dream, his . . . life just to give you your selfish happiness." He shook his head and turned his back on me.