Jealousy

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Have you ever had those flashbacks,

Of a past full of splendor,

Where everything was so easy,

It was a lying dream?


Have you ever had those images,

Of a past so bright and naive,

Where everything was so beautiful,

It was about a girl bathing in innocence?


Have you ever been jealous,

Of the times of yore, so pure and joyful,

Where everything was never as it is now,

And your old self was laughing in the euphoria?


Have you ever been envious,

Of that ancient you that never knew

Of the lies and horrors everything ever held,

Of the horrendous aloof hearts that lay in this world?


Have you ever craved to believe again

Trust everything with ignorance and a smile,

Believe in hope, believe in love,

Because that's all you ever did once.


And now I can't stop,

Looking back to her,

Looking back to me,

Looking back to happiness.


How do I not become jealous of her?

How do I not become envious of myself?

How do I not crave to be her with a covetous heart?

How do I not feel resentful of the past?


I don't know.

But now that the present,

Is swallowing me whole,

I just wish to get digested back to the past.


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