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There were things only family could heal.
That thought must have led me to the doorsteps of my aunt's residence, where my mother was currently residing. With no exact plan, I stood motionless before her bedroom door.
When my father passed away, he brought with him the affectionate relationship my mother and I had. I knew she loved me, still, and very much so. She did everything to keep the clan head's attention away from me, received the punishment for everything I lacked, and protected me the way she could think of.
And yet, here I was, hesitating to come in, let alone knock.
"Nee-chan?," a small voice of a male kid pulled me out of my trance. On my feet was Toge, scratching the sides of his eyes as they threatened to shut down. He limply hugged me, his chubby cheeks pressing against my thigh. "Hi."
My heart immediately calmed as I squatted to match his height and pulled him to my arms. "You just woke up, Toge-chan?"
"Salmon," he softly responded, flailing to my chest. "Nee-chan visits so little."
He's sulking.
"(F/n)." My aunt, Toge's mother, came and scooped the kid from me. "Sorry about that. I think his subconscious got overexcited when I told him Nee-chan's coming home."
Her demeanor had always been a breath of fresh air to me. The way she'd tend to both me and Toge equally like I were also her own. But however well she treated me, there remained a constant distance between us. One that could only be filled with my own mother.
I gave her a small smile, my chest feeling oddly heavy and nostalgic. "Thank you."
At that moment, I wished I could communicate my thoughts better, wished I could tell her how her presence assured me that I wasn't fully unwanted by my family. But when she returned the smile, warm and knowing, I knew I didn't have to say more.
"(F/n)." Her voice soothed my weariness for a second before her next request took my comfort. "I know it is a tough time between you and your mother, but learn to forgive her little by little, too."
My aunt rarely made comments like that. I had an inkling why, but a part of me protested. Small, but collective feelings I couldn't put into words. Somehow, it did not feel fair.
My head bobbed up and down in response despite not understanding the request. It was uncomfortable. I wanted to get rid of the topic soonest so I just remained silent.
