Trigger Warning: This chapter includes mentions of self-harm, abuse, and violence
It was later that night. Emilia was having a horrible nightmare. Full of flashbacks that would terrify anyone. She was suddenly jilted awake by the memory of being burned. It was a memory but the pain of a blowtorch being put against her skin and her flesh burning felt so real.
The nightmare was so raw and painful she woke up in physical pain.
Emilia woke up sweaty and out of breath. Her legs were aching and felt like they were on fire. The images so vivid in her head of blisters and skin that was painful to the touch.
It was a flush of horrible memories I couldn't stop. More and more vivid images just kept appearing. It was like I wasn't in control of my own mind. I needed to make it stop. To block it out. I needed to do something. I needed it to be quiet. I need a break, a pause, a breath of fresh air. I needed even if it was only for a moment the chaos in my head to be silent.
The next thing I knew I was walking toward the bathroom with a razor blade in my hand. I locked the door then sat with my back to it. It was like my body just knew what to do. I'd done it so many times before I guess it's become muscle memory. As I was about to put blade to skin. I looked at the scars on my thighs and wrist and a memory came to my head of him. Of what he said to me. " If you ever feel the urge to cut call me do you think you're the only person you're hurting by doing that, just.... call me ... call me and i'll come running i promise". I shake it away and press the blade deeper and slice. Blood starts slowly spilling out of my thigh and for a moment I feel silence. Trying to focus on pain I can barely feel makes me forget everything else. When another memory starts to surface i cut and cut again until i notice i've already cut more than 5 times. I start cleaning up wiping blood off the floor. Flushing the tissues down the toilet and washing the razor then throwing it in the trash. I bandage my leg, put on pants and head back to bed. I drink some water then lie awake staring at the ceiling. I laid still for i don't know how long when a sound snapped me out of it. It was Matei Calling me down for breakfast. Told him I'd be down in a few. My leg felt a little sore so I took a Tylenol.
I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. Bella came down at the same time. We took a seat next to each other at the dining table.
Bella: "you look like crap, did you get any sleep last night"
Emilia: "thanks and no I did not"
Bella: " Why didn't you call me I was would've come to your room"
Emilia: " I didn't want to bother you"
Maria brings us breakfast and me some coffee. Everyone's at the table eating it's quiet. Not a awkward silence but a peaceful one.
I finished eating then went to the library to read and chill for the day.I was there for a couple when I got hungry so I went to the kitchen for a snack. I got chips then was gonna go to the theater when i bumped into Bella. I groaned in pain. "What's wrong" Bella asked. I replied "Nothing" but she noticed my hand on my thigh.
Bella: "Please tell me you didn't"
Emilia: "I didn't"
Bella: "Don't lie to me"
Emilia: " I did"
Bella: "How many times"
I stay silent
Bella: "How many times did you cut yourself "
Emilia: "Seven"
Bella grabs my arms and we go to my room then she asks me "Which one ?"
Emilia: " What?"
Bella: " Were you cutting to kill yourself or were you cutting to feel pain and silence ? WHICH ONE"
Emilia: "Pain and silence
A sigh of relief leaves Bella. Though Emilia resorting to cutting to feel pain was bad it was much better than her cutting to commit suicide
If you are ever having thoughts of suicide or self-harm. Call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or 988(starting July 16). I don't know any international Hotlines, but if you are ever feeling this way I hope you know there are many resources available and that you are not alone
A/N: School is finally out for me so I will be able to write a lot more. Hope you guy enjoy how the story develops.
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Found But Broken (ON HOLD)
Teen FictionAll she wanted was to keep him and her secrets safe. But people keep breaking down her walls. When her world is turned upside down from finding out her family was not her family and that she was stolen she struggles to keep her identities separate...
