14: Bad habits

2.5K 72 71
                                    

Half an hour later and Alex was awake again and her stomach bleeding had slowed down considerably and she wasn't in as much pain so that was a bonus. The others had rushed over to El once that was all over, now having a time to patch up the girls leg. Alex walked away and sat outside the store.

She sat on the curb, cigarette between her lips, she had been craving one for hours but resisted, not wanting to hear her friends chastising her. Alex was drowning in guilt, she had almost killed Max, almost broke Lucas's arm and she literally cut Johnathan.

They were all trying to tell her that it was okay, and she wasn't in control.

But Alex knew it wasn't okay, she had literally knocked her girlfriend out and dislocated her best friends arm. She had literally attempted to Kill Johnathan. It al felt wrong.

She sucked in on the cigarette, enjoying the feel of numbness it gave her.

Everything seemed to be dialled up, she could hear herself breathing, her thoughts seemed amplified, her eyes seemed to be on constant alert and she could feel all of her pain and it was suffocating.

"You okay?" Someone called from behind her, Alex instantly recognised the voice as Max.

"I'm surviving," Alex sighed, staring off into the distance, her attention not really focused on anything in particular as she exhaled the smoke from her mouth. Alex looked down at her blood stained shirt, "I get why you did it, Max,"

"Doesn't mean I'm not sorry," Max replies, sitting herself on the burb beside Alex. The blonde shakes her head and offers a sad smile. Drawing in from the stick again, not caring that Max was near, everyone was dealing with their own shit right now.

"How's El?" Alex asked, still feeling guilty that she had postponed the girl getting her wounds cleaned.

"She's alright, for now anyway," Max told her, "She doesn't blame you by the way,"

Alex ignored her words, "Are you okay?" She asked, hesitant to even look up at the girl in horror if the marks she left on her skin. She breathed out the smoke with a sigh, nothing was alright. Why is Max acting like it was fine. Max sighs, she wouldn't lie, her head was pounding from the impact of the knife hilt. Her neck wasn't much better, the bruises were coming out now but that wasn't important.

"Yeah, I am really," Max smiles down at the girl.

"I'm really sorry-" Alex began to apologise again, being cut of my Max promptly.

"It wasn't you." She said back, "Not for a minute was that you, you would never hurt us, i know that."

Alex sighed, clearly Max wasn't allowing any other opinions. "We're even now?"

"Even." Max responds, laughing slightly as they both enjoyed the night sky in each others company.

Alex dropped the burnt out stump to the ground, putting it out completely with the heel of her shoe. "It's a dirty habit," Max said, looking at the girl and remembering the night at El's when they spied on Alex and she was drinking and smoking, Max had just pretended it was fake.

Alex ignored her, knowing it was true and just led her head on Max's shoulder.

A calm between storms.

Rhiannon  // Max MayfieldWhere stories live. Discover now