If I Stay✔️

34

C a r t e r

I always deemed my siblings and I to be closer than most. Growing up the way we had: loosing so much at such a young age. It created an invisible chain, a link that bound us to one another through our pain and grief.

An unbreakable bond. (Not as far as Snape and Mrs Malloy, but close.)

We became reliant on each other to simply just survive, our downfall being that we lacked trust in those around us, fearing that one day they'd leave us too. Just as our parents and sister had, followed by our grandfather.

It sounds unhealthy, and maybe it is. But for us, it worked. It was what we needed and it was all we had, we were all we had. Us.

Ace may have been the only one of us to have a real diagnosis. After his crying and near panic attacks, each time anyone had to leave; work, school, heck— even the bathroom sometimes, the doctors prescribed him with anxiety medication, claiming to Zac that he had not just anxiety, but separation anxiety after losing so much so young. Ace wasn't the only one who felt that way, his may have been more severe than ours but we understood.

We fought the same battle.

The dread of being apart, a constant fear in the back of our minds that something bad would happen. That maybe one of us would be kidnapped— again. Or there would be a nasty car accident, or a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time— just like our parents.

We all struggled. We did. We do.

But we made it through the storm, we sailed together, just like we promised we always would.

Until today.

Leo.

Fuck, I knew my younger brother had his own demons, I've always known that he was different. Not in a bad way. No, not at all. He just handled things differently to how we would.

After the death of our parents and Lily's disappearance, he didn't latch on to us, as we did each other. We each had our partner, our person, the second pea to a pod. And Leo? He lost his.

We were still there for him, of course we were. Zac more so than the rest of us. He seen Zac as his dad, which, in many ways, he was, he is. But it wasn't the same comfort as what we all had. He didn't have Lily like I had Cal, like Zac had Grey, Alex had Ace, and the twins had each other. It was as if he didn't want to tarnish the bond he had with Lil, by attaching himself to us.

Throughout the years Leo had always been our main priority, he had to be. We focused on him and done everything in our power to keep him included, to make him feel the motherly love and affection that we all secretly craved. Our home often lacked the presence of a woman. As much as Zac had taken on the role of dad, none of us could ever replace or mother, nor could we replace our sister.

That didn't stop us though. We still maintained our overbearing ways, gaining us the title of overprotective, or, as Leo used to say: the Bains of his existence.

Somewhere down the line, as our family slowly mended with Lily's return and the addition of our brother, Jack, we lost that title.

Leo sunk further into the shadows, as Lily brought us a light that had been lost for so long. Our attention drifted from him, to her and Jack, focusing on them and their recovery after the trauma they'd been through.