not how it's supposed to go

you know in your soul (when it's time to go)

ngl i wrote this story SO long ago and am now in a completely different spot in this timeline - kinda wild how much they've grown 🥲 anyway should i dump some chapters?

Natasha Romanoff is nothing if not careful and well-thought-out. She's used to plans and making sense and considering every variable.

What she didn't consider when she thought about her death on Vormir was the possibility that she could be alive again. Death is pretty final, she's always known that. She's never feared it much, and by the time Vormir happened, she'd been wishing for it so long that saving the universe was the perfect thing to both figuratively and literally push her over the edge.

But now, with all of the feeling in her body back, including that of a bed underneath her, she's confused. And she doesn't like being confused.

She's in her house, the one she built in hopes of Wanda someday returning, and she's never felt so lost in her entire life.

She quickly gets up, hating that her tactical suit is still on, and she quickly sheds it, folding it neatly into a backpack and throwing on jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. She reaches underneath the dresser and grabs something she stashed right before she left for the last time, a little box. She puts that in the backpack, too, for safe keeping.

She walks into the main area of the house, grateful that she built it with privacy in mind as she looks outside and sees that it's dark out. She opens a drawer and thanks whatever's out there when she sees her motorcycle's keys right where she left them. She slips them in the pocket of her jacket and grabs some protein bars for her backpack before slipping out through the back door and locking up behind herself.

She walks out back and sees her motorcycle right where she left it, covered by a black tarp, and quickly uncovers it.

She folds the tarp and leaves it by the garage before turning on the motorcycle and pulling on her helmet.

With that, she leaves, knowing she can't stick around if she wants the whole truth. And she needs to find Yelena.

-

"Last I heard, you were dead."

Natasha whips around, admittedly a little too grateful when she sees Mason, "Hey."

He hugs her tightly, "I missed you, Natasha."

"About that," she and him part, him looking her over with some kind of disbelief in his eyes. She purses her lips, "How long has it been?"

"Since everyone came back?" he cocks his head slightly, and Natasha nods.

Natasha's not scared easily, but the hesitation and unknowingness of it all doesn't make her feel at ease. She doesn't like unknowns at all.

"It's been almost two years. The anniversary will be in October, it's practically holiday at this point," he says quietly, seldom expression on his face, "but everyone came back. Whatever you guys did worked ."

Natasha nods, trying to process. She died two years ago, and now she's back . She's alive, and one of her closest confidants is stood in front of her. She can't help but feel pride swell in her chest knowing that she finally did something so good after so many years of disappointment. One thought works its way to the front, though.

"Have you heard from Yelena?" She asks softly, almost not wanting to hear the answer. She doesn't think she'll be able to bear it if Yelena's not okay.

"The tsarina, " Mason says, amused, "she's okay, last I heard. Something about working with the new Hawkeye has her not needing my services anymore."