Your Worst Fears

Chapter 34: Weakness and Temptation

When Edda had said Courtney was awake, I wanted to go inside. I didn't want to hear anything else she had to say, either about Nick or otherwise. Slapping her earlier was the first time I'd ever physically attacked anyone out of anger, and despite the circumstances, I felt bad. Not for causing her pain, which I know it did—my hand still hurt—but because I let someone provoke that out of me.

I stayed on the swing as Nick and Edda walked into the yard where she lay, and from what I could tell, she was crying. "Please, untie me. It hurts."

"I'm sorry," Edda said, bending down beside her, "but we can't do that."

"You can't keep me like this. I...." Sobs cut off her words.

"Yeah, we can. After what you did, we're not gonna just let you go," Nick added. "I mean... what were you thinking?"

"I didn't do anything," she cried. "It chose me; I was just too weak to fight it."

"No, you seemed to enjoy it."

She cried harder. "I did. It made me feel... strong. I felt powerful." Edda started rubbing one of her stones on her, but she didn't seem to even notice. "It made me so mad; so full of hate. I wanted to kill you all, but I'd never—"

Nick interrupted her pleas. "Oh, I think you would." He leaned down and said something else to her, but it was too low for me to hear. Whatever it was, it upset her. To be honest, it upset me, too.

"I'm sorry!" She yelled. "I was mad and wanted revenge. It was the truth, though, and I think that's why you're so mad."

He stood back up. "No, I'm mad because you drove to my house and tried to kill my girlfriend."

"I was forced to, and it wasn't going to kill her. Kakos wanted me to—"

"Don't speak its name!" This time it was Edda who interrupted her.

"Everything I did," Courtney continued, "was because I was forced to. Dropping Erik off at that hospital—" loud cries escaped her again "—it killed me! I love him! Seeing him like that, so broken, killed me. But instead of being mad at the one who did it, it caused me to turn my anger toward you two. In my head, it was all your fault, but I realize I was wrong. Erik's in that hospital because of me. I gave in and was selfish. I'm weak and selfish and I'm sorry." She was crying too hard to talk anymore.

Edda looked up at Nick. "I think she's telling the truth. She feels broken, not defiant."

"How do you know she's not lying?" he asked.

"I don't. All I know is what I feel, but to be honest, that's more important to me than mere words." She stood up and walked around to where he stood. "Words are simply tones floating on air, able to be bent and manipulated to suit the ear. The spirit, on the other hand, never lies, so it's the one I listen to and have the desire to hear."

"Well, if you're sure, let's set her up and untie her."

"No," I said, causing them both to turn and look at me like they'd forgotten I was here. "I want to talk to her first." I got up and walked toward them. "Before you untie her, I need to ask her something."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Nick said.

"Why?" I asked, anger rising up in me.

He must've felt it, too, because he held his hands up in retreat. "Go ahead. Do whatever you need to do."

Edda tugged at his shirt. "Come on. Since you hate the tea so bad, I'll get you some chocolate. If it helped Harry Potter, surely it can help you." She winked at me as she walked by, and I couldn't help but smile, knowing Nick had no idea what she was talking about.