f o r t y o n e

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NO MATTER HOW long I stared at the large scale ink-blot hung up on the wall of the small but spacious office room, I only saw a frog in a fedora playing a trumpet

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NO MATTER HOW long I stared at the large scale ink-blot hung up on the wall of the small but spacious office room, I only saw a frog in a fedora playing a trumpet. Or maybe it was a saxophone? 

Either way, it was one talented frog. 

"Is this suppose to just be art or is it a test?" I question, glancing over my shoulder as I point to the piece in front of me with one finger. Vivienne sat in her usual navy velvet armchair, her box braids gathered a top her head with a mustard floral bandana. 

She taps her pen against the open pad of her journal resting atop her lap, "It depends. What do you see, Hayden?" 

"A very suave frog playing jazz." I answer blankly.

Vivienne blinks at me as she takes a long pause, "Well...I can say I've never gotten that response before. Most people just say that they see or butterfly—sometimes a skull." 

"I'm guessing the ones who see the skull are the ones we need to worry about, huh?" I say as I turn on the spot and slowly begin to walk back across the room. 

"You'd think so." Vivienne explains with a small shrug and it shocks me slightly. I stare at her with wide eyes as I slowly resume my position on the sofa in front of her. She continues, "So are we finally going to talk about your week or is there more of my interior decoration you would like to judge." 

"I was going to comment on your dried floral arrangement in that vase but that can wait until the end." I reply as I brush my hand through the air, "But as for my week...well, it's been amazing. My sunburn finally calm down, I had the best fish taco the other night and—oh yeah, I'm engaged." 

My smile is hard to contain as I thrust my left hand forward to show off my ring. 

"I'm noticed." Vivienne says with a small smile, "I also received the ten text messages and forty nine photos of the ring that you sent me." 

I scoff, "Uh...you're welcome." 

"Well...yes, I guess I'm happy that you're informing me more about your life." Vivienne nods as I settle back into the sofa, happy with her response. Vivienne glances down at her book and pauses, as if hesitating to ask her next question, "Have you informed your father?" 

My smile fades, "What? That asshat?"

"I'll take that as a no." Vivienne mumbles as she writes something in her journal. 

"He doesn't want me in his life, I don't want him in mine." I say as with a firm shake of my head, "No thank you." 

Vivienne stares at me for a little longer than expecting and I suddenly start to feel guilty. I don't know why, I shouldn't feel guilty about cutting Harrison out of my life forever. He obviously didn't have a single fucking shred of guilt about doing it to me. 

"I don't want to talk about him. He doesn't matter anymore." I say with a firm nod as Vivienne nods and writes something down on her notebook. I exhale heavily, "I'm finally feeling like I'm healed, I don't want to focus on anything that has to do with the past. I'm only focusing on my future and right now it's looking pretty damn shiny." 

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