For Worse or For Better- Book #6 in the WF Series

Chapter 1: For Worse

♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡

"Everything is going to be fine," I tell myself.

Here's the thing.

In every single romance book I've read, the couple has taken ages to get together. There's tension, angst, arguments, a fight after the couple's finally happy, and then they live happily ever after. Same thing in movies.

But that's the problem.

Nobody ever talks about what happens after. Does the couple ever fight again? Does their past ever make a reappearance? Do they end up hating each other later on in their lives?

It's not just the fact that the couple isn't shown enough into the future, it's that when we do see them in the epilogue, all the issues they've had for their entire lives are suddenly gone.

They had anger issues because of something traumatic that happened to them when they were a kid? Oh, they met a girl so they're all fixed now. The girl was hurt by the men in her life? Oh, she met the love of her life. She's all good and doesn't ever think about it.

That's not how life works though.

For a long time, especially when I was a teenager, I would think that when Carson and I would get married, all my issues would go away. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen, but for some reason, our brains wrap around the fact that the minute marriage happens, we become this all-around happy person and forget every traumatic thing that's happened in our lives.

I get panic attacks at random places and times, but, when I'm married, I'll never have a panic attack again because I'll always be happy.

Not true.

I hate my body. Well, when I get married, I'll have someone who loves my body so I won't hate it anymore.

I wish it worked like that.

That's actually the topic that brought this thought to pop up in my head. Let's just say that three pregnancies do not make my body-image issues feel any better.

I had Aubrey about six months ago so the stitches have already dissolved, though the stretch marks are still very much present and make me want to cry every single time I look in the mirror. It's not that stretch marks are ugly, if any other woman had them, she would look gorgeous. It's just on me, it looks like the ugliest thing in the entire world. Roman says it's because of the unrealistic standards I set for myself. He's not wrong, but that doesn't mean I can just change them overnight. It takes time. A lot of time actually. And also apparently a lot of tears which is why I'm sitting in our closet, wiping my tears away.

Why is crying on the floor so much better than sitting on a bed or anywhere you're actually supposed to sit?

I hear the garage open.

I quickly shoot up while rubbing the water on my cheeks away so Roman doesn't freak out. That man will see a little bit of water flood my eyes and will immediately start asking me if I'm okay or if he can do anything. It's odd because when I first heard about him from a few people on campus, I was told that he was a straightforward person with no human emotions besides anger by the looks of it. That may just be the way he looks at people though. I've tried to get him to start smiling when people glance at him, but there's no hope at this point. He doesn't even realize he's doing it which makes it even funnier since kids will be intimidated by him even though he's probably just thinking about something random like beating up Rider. At least, I think that's the things Roman thinks about.

I quickly change out of the bathing suit which triggered these sets of tears so I can head downstairs. It's our anniversary in a few days and we were supposed to go on a little trip. Ivy had gotten me this beautiful bathing suit. Although, when I put it on, I felt everything but beautiful in it.