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Ashley's POV

Home sweet fucking home.

I ran into my house and straight to my room. I missed you so much bed, but your love will come right after Ivan and Robins. I know I know, we've been through so much together my love but you're just a bed. If I could I would get married to you but I have my boyfriends that also miss me. I also don't think it's legal to marry a bed.

"What are you doing?" Dylan came into my room.

"Loving my bed?"

"okay, well Ivan and Robin are going to be here soon and we need to talk"

"About what? You told them about the party. Which I know I shouldn't have blamed you and I'm sorry for that"

"It's not that, it's something else"

I looked at him confused then Ivan and Robin came in. I tried to not slip into little space seeing them which was hard to do but I did it.

"What's going on?" Robin glared at Dylan.

Dylan closed the door and sat next to me on my bed. I sat up and Ivan and Robin stayed standing.

"Explain please?" Robin sighed.

"Okay. Uh. Sh-shit" Dylan stuttered clearly scared.

I got up from my bed which made them look at me. I went in my closet and grabbed one of my stress balls handing it to Dylan which he took.

"T-the first time Ash got drunk h-he didn't lose his virginity to me" Dylan squeezed the ball.

I looked at him confused sitting back down. How can that be possible? I remember him having sex with me.

"I let him think it was me because I d-didn't want him to be scared or pissed. It was when he was at one his low points and we got drunk with the group. A new guy came in and both of us kinda looked alike. I was passed out drunk in the living room and he took Bear into my room. When I woke up everyone was gone so I went back to my room. When I got in Ash was blind folded and that guy was fucking him and cutting his butt with a knife."

"No, that's not what happened. You took me upstairs, you said you wanted to do bdsm shit and I let you" I started to tear up.

"Bear, it wasn't...It wasn't me. You were at a low point that I wouldn't even dare even play fight you because I was scared you were going to kill yourself. You thought it was me because when you woke up I was laying with you. I kicked the guy out when I saw what he was doing. Your memory got bunched together and you put the pieces in the wrong way"

"Then why the fuck didn't you tell him?!" Robin grew angry.

"Because the guy you killed was the one that did that to Ashley, and in my head I thought him thinking it was me would 1 make him feel safer 2 it wouldn't made him think it was his fault for the guys death. I wasn't thinking right okay? All I was thinking was Bear not wanting to fucking kill himself feeling fucking guilty" Dylan cried.

I'm going to throw up. I can't believe this. I quickly grabbed my trash can and started to puke. I felt Dylan jump and I heard whimpering from him. Once I stopped puking I wiped my tears. This whole time it was a lie.

"I-i-im sorry. I'm s-sorry" Dylan rocked himself back and forth. "I just wanted Bear to blame me for everything instead of him hurting himself"

"Dylan, it's time to go" Dylan's mom came in. "What happened? Boys are you okay?"

I started to nod but Dylan spoke up.

"No, I told them what actually happened"

"About that night?"

Dylan nodded and cried more.

"Ash can I talk to you for a moment please"

"Yes ma'am" I got up from my bed and walked out of my room with Dylan's mom.

"Dylan has been wanting to tell you what happened since that night. He's always blaming himself for what happened but all he wanted was to protect you. I know my son is well, a bad person. But he cared about you so much."

"But why would he do that to me if he cared?"

"Don't tell him that I told you this but he wanted to know what pain felt like. He hurt you so you could hurt him. I know it's weird way for him to do that but he's only felt hurt when you hate him. He described it to me like it makes him feel human and sane."

"But I don't want to hurt anyone, I never wanted to hurt him but he left me no choice"

"I know, I know." She hugged me crying.

"I understand why he did it, but me hurting him felt worse than him hurting me"

"Ashley, you have to stop looking down on yourself like that."

"Is it okay if I take him for a few hours? I'll make sure he gets home safe"

"Of course, just make sure you're also safe"

Dylan's mom gave me one last hug before leaving. I went back to my room seeing Dylan picking at his skin while Robin and Ivan not knowing what to do.

"Hey um, can you two go on a date or something for a few hours, I want to spend some time with Dylan and try to patch things up" I talked to Robin and Ivan.

"Yeah, just don't let him do anything to you" Robin kissed my cheek.

"I won't, but I might need help taking him home"

Both of them nodded and went out of my room holding hands. I went up to Dylan taking his hands into mine so he stopped hurting himself.

"Hey, I want to do something okay, we have a few hours to ourselves and I think we both need this"

Dylan just nodded and I wiped his tears.

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