My brother's best friend

Chapter four

After all the people left the house it was quiet. It was only Levi, Will and I. Amanda was across the road, back at her own home, washing dishes. Levi is rocking on the stairs. This was too much for him.

Instead of pain and sadness, anger was boiling inside. How could they leave me? How could they leave him? Levi still needs them. He's too young to have lost his parents. I grumble and get up from my seat.

I grab the few plates that are stacked on the table. I slam them down on the sink, frustrated for no reason. "What's going on, sis?" I turn around to see Will standing in the door. I lean back against the sink, crossing my arms. "Where were you?" He frowns, "What are you talking about?"

I roll my eyes, "The night of the accident, where were you?" Will shifts his weight. "You weren't there, something must have been more important than us." Will shakes his head, "No, I -" I stop him mid-sentence, "Whatever you were going to say, save it. I don't want to hear lies." I push off the sink and walk past him. He grabs my arm to stop me. I look up at Will, "Let go." "No, you don't get to be mad at me." He grumbles. "You weren't there. We needed you and you were off partying somewhere." I pull free and hurry to my room.

I hit my pillow a few times before curling into a small ball, hugging my knees to my chest, letting tears run down my cheeks. Thoughts jumbled with anger and frustration run through my mind. Why would they do this to us?

My thoughts are interrupted by my door opening up. I sit up, quickly wiping at the tears. I send a glare at the intruder. Daniel. "What?" I snap, falling back onto my pillow.

"We need to get you out of here." I hear him say. I raise my head, "No thanks." I roll over onto my stomach, hoping he would leave. My eyes land on a picture on my bed stand. I reach out and place it face down on the stand.

"I heard you confronted your brother." I ignore Daniel, maybe if I wish hard enough he will go away? "You should have been harder on him." I hear him come closer, the bed sinks in as he sits down next to me.

"What do you want?" I ask, leaning on my elbow to look at him. He shrugs, "Just wanted to talk." I roll my eyes, "I don't want to talk." I roll away from Daniel, almost falling off the bed. I land on my feet and walk to the door. I open the door and smile at Daniel, "Leave." My smile goes away and I glare at him.

"I don't think so." He stretches out and leans back against the headboard. He tucks his hands behind his head and smiles at me, "I am much more comfortable here." I take a deep breath when I feel the anger inside me rising.

"Then I'll leave," I say, grabbing my coat. I make sure to slam the door shut on my way out. I hurry to my car and sit in it for a moment. Where am I going? What am I doing? Just as I'm about to pull out of the driveway, the passenger door opens and Daniel is seated next to me.

"What are you doing?" I stop the car and face him. "Don't stop now, I thought we're going somewhere. Somewhere fun I hope." He smiles at me and I need to stop myself from slapping him. "Actually, I was thinking of visiting Leo, I haven't seen him in quite a while." Daniel pulls a face, "That's no fun. You need to go out and forget all of this."

"Forget what, Daniel? That my parents died? That I am left here without them? Forget that my last conversation with them was a fight?" I feel my throat tighten and my eyes sting. I don't think I'm going to forget any time soon.

"Yes." He says softly. I look up at him, shocked. "I want you to be yourself for one moment. I want you to forget the pain. I want to see you smile, a real one." He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, "I want you to be happy."

"They died, Daniel. They're gone forever." I croak out. "You were there the last time we spoke. I was horrible." This time the lump in my throat won and a sob escaped my mouth.

"They still loved you." He says, rising my chin so I can look into his eyes. "They will never stop loving you." I pull away and drop my head, "Why wasn't it me? I was also driving, only hours before them. Why didn't I die?" I look up at him when he doesn't answer, "You are still needed." I shake my head, that isn't an acceptable answer, "So were they." Another sob wins the fight and Daniel pulls me into his chest.

We didn't leave the driveway. We sat there, him holding me and me holding in the sobs. Now and then the sobs would win and he would hold me closer. Why them? I was driving too. What if I'd just stayed? What if I had just listened to them? What if I'd just sat down with them and discussed it like an adult.

When my back starts to hurt form the awkward position I pull away from Daniel, wiping at my damp cheeks. I feel the slight hardness on my skin where the tears have dried and all I want to do is to wash it off. Or keep it on to remind me I am the reason for this. If I'd just stayed.

Daniel tucks a hair behind my ear, "Next time, we'll leave the driveway." He smiles crookedly at me and for a moment I remember what it was like to be 16. Crushing on my brother's best friend. I look away and catch a glimpse of my reflection in the windshield. A sad and dark face with tear tracks down her cheeks stairs back at me.

I am not 16. I am not crushing on Daniel Greene. This is not some dream I made up where I kiss him and all my dreams come true. No. This is a nightmare. My parents are dead. And I am not a kid anymore.

This is real life.