Possessive (Completed)

Happy Endings

"It's a long time to wait.." Simon said quietly. He was sitting on the edge of Liam's bed, spending time in a room that had long been private and foreign to him. "You're going to have to expect Kit to move on."

"I know." Liam had his legs tucked beneath his arms in a rare display of weakness. "I'm going to have to be okay with that. I need to be alone for a while, though. I cannot handle a new relationship now.. and I can't do that to Kit."

"I know," Simon agreed. "I'm not saying you and Kit ought to be together."

"You know... I've just been so.. overbearing to you? Without even meaning to, but I have been, and I don't want... I think I would fall right back into that, and be overbearing again I need to learn how to love without doing that. I need to..." Liam's voice shook violently and a tear dribbled down his cheek. "I don't think I gave myself the time to recover after mom went away.. I'm not passed that... I don't know if I ever will be.. It just hurts.. so bad."

"You're not alone.. You've never been alone." Simon pulled Liam's head up and hugged him gently.

"I don't know who I am without her- I'm broken, a destructive shell of who I'm.. s-supposed to be." Liam sobbed softly into Simon's shoulder. "I spent so long blaming myself that I don't know who to blame if I don't blame me."

"It's nobody's fault." Simon rubbed Liam's hair. "Sometimes things happen, and there isn't a reason or a solution... you just have to keep going... You just have to keep moving, you have to keep the faith, or you'll fall apart."

"I've fallen."

"You have to keep hope.. we have to keep hope alive together, and we can move forward together. Over this past year we've been caught.. stuck in a rut, together we can get out of it."

"I don't know know how to get you out of this... I don't know how to be strong for you anymore," Liam sobbed softly.

"When you don't know how to be strong for me, I'll be strong for you."

Liam and Simon remained together in the bedroom until the sky began to tinge with pink and the cold evening air wafted the scent of lavender through the window. Liam cried, the first tears in a while but not the last tears Simon had ever seen from him, but not the last. Liam cried to Simon several more times on the path to recovery. For once it was the only thing that seemed to make it feel better. One of the few things that could make him feel whole again. Loss, the loss of a parent changes a person. They can feel better, they can think they've grown, and it can all fall apart again.

Simon left the house that night. As he walked down the dimly lit sidewalk under the wrought iron lamps, he felt his own tears prick his eyes and scar down his cheeks. Simon had taken a few weeks to himself, a few weeks with Liam, and a few weeks to let his feeling blossom. Still he was certain he knew what he wanted.

Simon was slightly younger when his mother started drinking, so it affected him differently. Both boys had a fear of love, but Liam was old enough to blame himself for love falling apart and was frightened of it; Simon watched it disappear and was desperate to have it back as often as possible. Simon was indecisive in love because he thought that if he grew too comfortable with one person their love would dissolve like ashes scattered in the wind and be out of reach.

The concrete jungle that surrounded the apartment building Simon walked up to reminded him of the field his own model home was located in, but he supposed that motif was part of him as much as the loss of his mother.

Simon walked up to an old looking brown door and knocked. He was tired of moving from person to person. Simon was going to find love, and he was going to hold onto it like a child to a balloon and never let it drift away.