The Wyld Girls

Chapter 18 - Kylie

Wyld Times, Episode 66 – unaired footage, Boat Cam, 2:15am

It's night aboard the Easy Catch; the boat bobs gently up and down on the dark waters. Michelle sits alone on the deck, staring out across the water. There are lights from a small, seaside town visible from the shore, glimmering like starlight against the rocky rise of mountains in the distance.

Michelle sits up suddenly, peering into the night. There's the faint sound of singing and the hum of an outboard motor. A small tin boat is veering back and forth across the calm waters, leaving a vivid white wake that catches the moonlight.

The singing gets louder as the boat thuds gracelessly into the side of the Easy Catch. Michelle moves swiftly, throwing a rope over the side, shushing the driver. "Bruce! You'll wake everyone up!"

Bruce's head appears as he clumsily climbs aboard. He's clearly intoxicated, singing a bastardised version of an old Australian folksong: "Once a jolly Wyldman, had some beer and then cocaine! Then ploughed two best friends in a hot tub! And he sang as he watched, both sheilas fighting over him-"

"Bruce, please." She gestures helplessly towards the bedrooms. "Kylie and Parker are sleeping. The crew will hear you. Please."

"Bloody hell, you're no fun," he says, his words sounding sticky and staccato. "You were never any fun. God, it was hard work getting you to marry me."

"I don't know why you bothered," she replies, hurt in every syllable. "I thought it was love, but that doesn't seem to be the case."

Bruce laughs, his bellows echoing across the water. "Are you serious? You have no idea why I wanted to marry you? Are you really that stupid?"

Michelle doesn't answer. Bruce scrunches up his face. "Oh, Jesus, you really are that stupid. Well, here I am, trying to find financial backers at this fancy fundraiser, then me mate tells me he just met the daughter of the bird in charge – the one with all the money! All it took was asking this chick if she wanted to see the python in my pocket, a few cocktails and a hard root, and she was ready to walk down the aisle with me! A pretty damn successful investment effort if you ask me..."

Michelle speaks softly. "You only wanted my money."

"Oh, come on now, sweet cheeks," says Bruce. "You were also a hot piece of ass. And free child care! Don't sell yourself short."

"I gave you everything. My heart, my body – my parents funded your park, this show – I have cared for your sister as if she's my own child!"

"And look at everything you got in return!" Bruce retorts. "You're famous! Not as famous as me, but still."

He begins to shed his clothing. A steamer wetsuit hangs on a line nearby and Bruce inelegantly plonks down on a bench and pulls it over his shins.

Michelle says, "If that's all you wanted from me, then we should get a divorce."

Bruce snorts. "God, I wish. But your parents made me sign that prenup, remember? If you'd just let me get away without signing it, we'd be right – we could go our separate ways. But if we break up now, I'll be left with nothing. So, sorry love – we're stuck together until I make enough money from the show – or one of us is dead."

He stands and struggles with his wetsuit zipper. Michelle seems dazed as she says, "What are you doing? You can't go diving now."

He snarls at her. "Don't tell me what to do. This is our season finale – we need something big and dangerous to go out on so we get a better renewal contract. You know what scored the best ratings with our test audiences this year? The octopus and the polar bear. Viewers want danger. They want to get wild – and I'm going to give it to them."