Shades of Chase (English Version)

Chapter 13

I gave my first kiss to someone who I don't even really know aside from his name. Even gave myself to the same person that does not seem to care even after knowing that he was my first. I know this sounds incredibly lame but I don't regret what happened between us under the sheets despite his attitude.

I get it. Chase is cold and mysterious. I gave him my soul without even thinking that I'd get nothing in return. We're not in a relationship. He doesn't even like me. I was not asking for him to reciprocate my feelings. I did not surrender myself to him and chide him after. I was partly to blame because I also wanted it, and I don't regret a bit of it. It's just that... I am hurt with the way he acted towards me when I found him talking with someone on the phone.

Is he mad because I heard him talking to someone over the phone? But why would he be mad because of that? I do not even bother knowing what they were talking about? I was just scared about how he looked at me, he looked like he's in rage. I was scared when I saw the anger in them. His caramel orbs suddenly went pitch black like they're deep holes. Once you fall in them, you could never escape anymore.

"Is the money enough for you?"

I released a frustrated sigh. This is what frustrates me even more. He just placed a cheque on his bedside table while I was busy putting my clothes back on. After he dragged me against the wall, ignored me like having my virginity is just nothing for him, he would pay me like I'm just sort of a prostitute.

"Yeah..." I answered not bothering to look back at him.

I don't know why seeing a million pesos worth of cheque made my blood boil. I suddenly felt insulted. I feel like the amount was not for the painting but his payment for taking my virginity.

Stop the drama, Tanya. It's not like you didn't want what happen between the both you. He did not force you to it. You willingly surrendered yourself to him. Chase doesn't have any responsibility over you as you are both consenting adults who did it out of lust.

"Tell me if it's not enough. I'll double it."

I released a sigh, silently looking outside. He's driving at a fast pace making the surroundings blurry as we passed by.

"You actually gave too much, Chase."

I heard him heave a sigh but I didn't dare to give him a glance. I'm not acting up. I feel like I have the right to get hurt with his actions towards me. Maybe it's just my ego as a woman thinking that he could've been nicer to me after  of what happened to us.

His car stopped right in front of our house. The lights are still on in the living room and for sure by this time my mom is preparing dinner. She knows about the job Chase offered. What she does not know was how I'm going to paint him.

"Uhm, thanks for today... and for the job you gave me." I said still not minding to look at him.

What I said didn't sound right. I feel like there's a double meaning behind it.

I breathed a sigh feeling the bitterness inside me. I looked at him. He's staring at the road ahead of us, face void of any emotion. His brows were not in a furrow; lips were set into a thin line. And his eyes were too cold and distant.

"I'll go ahead." I said hoping he would respond but he did not even bother glance at me.

Don't keep your hopes up, Tanya.

I did not wait for him to answer. I opened the door beside me and stepped out. I felt a slight pain as I'm still sore but I ignored the pain and forced myself to stand. I am wincing in pain so I had to fix myself even if the pain is actually killing me.

I was just a few steps away when I heard the car door slam behind me. I was about to look back when I suddenly felt someone grab my hand forcing me to face him. My eyes went wide when Chase's lips crashed mine.

"C-Chase..."

His left hand was on my waist while the other one was at the back of my head. His face was on my neck, letting out some heavy breathing. My hands left in the air, stunned by what he did.

"Sorry," that came out as a husky whisper. "I didn't mean to act that way."

I'm certain he was referring to the incident earlier. That's the only thing I can think of.

Words didn't rush down my lips. My breathing was heavy. I don't know what to tell him. What should I say?

"What are you apologizing for, Chase?" before I could think of anything, it already slipped my mouth.

"Everything," he answered. "Except from what happened between us. I will never be sorry for that."

"You wanted that to happen."

"Yes... I wanted that to happen. And I don't regret at all." He was holding me, so gentle like I'm a fragile glass he's afraid to break. The way he holds me, it's far from the way he treated me in bed... and after that. "Are you regretting it?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not regretting it."

I wanted to ask him what would happen to us after tonight but I don't think I'm in the position to. I feel it's not right. Chase seems to be unlike any other man who you can ask dramatic questions like that. It's as if asking him would be a waste of time because he will not give any sensible response.

"But don't you think we shouldn't let ourselves crossed the line, Chase? Isn't is too fast? We don't have any sort of relationship for us to do what we did."

His hug on me tightened. I found my hand already hugging him back. I feel like some pressure has escaped from his body that I suddenly felt it become heavy. Like he lost all his strength at all.

"I'm assuming that you have something for me the reason why you surrendered yourself, Allison," he said still resting his face beside my neck. "Like how I have something for you."

My breathing become heavy with what he said. So... He has something for me?

"What do you mean?"

"It's too early to define it but I'll tell you once it's already clear for me. One thing I'm sure, the attraction between the two of us is strong..."

Chase bit a tiny part of my neck that made me grip him on his back. My knees suddenly turned jelly as the familiar pleasure he gave me earlier was still lingering in me.

"And I'm not gonna let it die down."

I gasped when he slowly placed his hands in the sides of my bum. I unconsciously looked up only to find the mystical moon reigning above us. It's alone on the dark night.

"You might find me different, and I might scare you most of the times..."

His hands crawled up to my back again until it reached the back of my head. He made me look at him as our eyes locked with each other. The night sky and moon complimented his eyes. They're dark and full of mystery.

"So I'm asking you to be patient with me," he pressed his lips on mine. It's just a swift kiss but it's passionate. He leaned his forehead against mine and from dark and cruel, his eyes suddenly went soft. "It's only when I met you that I've learnt how to calm these demons inside me."