The New Helel

16 1 0
                                    

Author's Name:

Aleksandr_Vincente

Reviewer:

sky_is_limit

Review Type:

Plot


Plot Review:

Okay, my first impressions was that this was going to be an interesting story to read. It felt like you had done a lot of planning just by the glossary page alone which is always appreciated. And as I started reading, I felt like your writing was well done and like you had a good grasp!

So, is it engaging? Yes, to an extent. I enjoyed the opening and Azazil's introduction. You painted him as a guy who is repenting for whatever he had done to get himself banished from his previous place. At first I thought he was a clumsy guy, only to find out about his impairment, but I felt that just helped to further make his character interesting. Of course, it also left me wondering how that happened. I wanted to know his background and get the full story on how he became blind, especially since he's an angel.

As we also learn about Daerios, I kind of feel like the plot starts to become a bit wobbly, like it begins to fall apart, which is really early for that to start happening. And while I do understand that you want the mirrored POVs, A then D, I notice that Daerios' chapters start to get shorter and shorter. After each of his chapters, I'm left wondering if they're even necessary. At this point, I feel like his perspective doesn't really further the plot. I would also notice that we would get random jumps with his POV as well. There would be a couple paragraphs of something, then a break in the form of an asterisk before the characters move on. I feel like that just heavily messes with the flow.

I also want to point out Azazil's shift in character. Someone else had also pointed this out in a comment, but it's almost jarring how he goes from shy to malicious so quickly. I feel like his prejudice is laid on quite thick, even if he was raised to believe that demons deserve nothing and such. While I understand that his attitude may be necessary for the plot, the shift in his character just kind of makes it really hard to read because he's so different from his introduction. Then he becomes quite regretful. Again, his shift in character seems very unnatural and it leaves me wondering if this was kind of a clumsy way to further the story.

I can say that maybe I do just need to read more to get a full grasp on the story, because where it stands, it's moving quite slow and almost every chapter feels like filler. I absolutely love the concept and I do wonder where the story will take us. Will Azazil try to make his way back up? What about the mysterious call he heard from his brother? I am left wondering what will happen. But I do think the chapters need a little more planning. Maybe it's time to rethink how they're formatted.

I hope this didn't sound too harsh! If you need any clarity on my points or have any questions for your review, please feel free to reach out! 

I hope this didn't sound too harsh! If you need any clarity on my points or have any questions for your review, please feel free to reach out! 

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Flourish - A Review Shop by TeamOfDreams - On HiatusWhere stories live. Discover now