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Cisco - The Flash part 1

~I thought I saw the devil, this morning~

I had woken up. I had a bad dream, and it felt so very real. I looked in the corner and thought I had seen my father. I bkinked a couple of times, then realized that no on was even standing there. I got up out of bed then walked into the bathroom.

~Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue, with a warning~

I looked at myself in the mirror. Exhaustion was written all over my face. I hadn't gotten much sleep, and it was a bit evident. I turned on the sink and splashed some cold water on my face, in an attempt to make myself feel more awake.

~To help me see myself clearer~

I walked out of the bathroom then walked over to my dresser. I grabbed out some clean clothes then got changed. I grabbed my makeup bag off the top of the dresser then walked back to the bathroom. I opened the bag up, then applied some light make up. After doing so, I closed the makeup bag, then walked out of the bathroom.

~I never meant to start a fire~

In what seemed like an instant, my mind was thrown back to a time where my father was angry. It wasn't any regular anger, it was a firey rage, one that I had grown used to. A rage that I had seen all to often. I was only thirteen years old at the time. There was yelling, and screaming. And throwing of things. I had blamed myself for his anger, I often did, even when it wasn't even my fault.

~I never meant to make you bleed~

My father, wasn't a good man. That much was always clear to me. But, one of the worst things to me, was when he claimed he was just trying to teach us something, or he would act like he didn't mean to harm us as much as he did. He would turn around and pretend it never even happened. One day, I snapped, and threw a glass back at him. The shards of glass pierced his skin, causing him to bleed. In return, I got a broken arm. We both ended up in the hospital. My condition was just a bit worse.

~I'll be a better man today~

From that day forward, I wanted to be better. I wanted to seperate myself from that life. I wanted to seperate myself from him. So, that was exactly what I did. At twenty years old, I ran away from my so called home, and never looked back. I refused to go back to a life, to a father that didn't give a rat's ass how I felt or what happened to me.

~I'll be good, I'll be good~

I had managed to turn my life around. Seven years, and I hadn't run into him once. Seven years, and for the most part, I felt free. I wasn't as scared anymore, although, I definitely still had my moments where I was scared, and worried that he would break out of prison and find me. But, I had friends that I knew would protect me, even if they didn't exactly know the truth of who I was. I had changed my last name all those years ago, so no one would know who my family was.

~And I'll, love the world, like I should~

I had grown to start seeing the good in the world. I had learned how it felt to love, to feel loved. Which was a senstation I didn't used to understand. My friends, were my new family. These were the people that I elected to call my family. These were the people that loved me, the people that I loved. These were the people that made me feel safe.

~Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good~

The reason, or at least one of the biggest reasons I had grown to care for these people so much, is because they had taught me so much. They taught me how to love, how to be kind. They taught me compassion, and strength. They taught me how to truly be a good person.

~For all of the times, I never could~

I used to not be a good person. That was something I could admit to myself, but it wasn't something I wanted to admit to any of my friends. We had recently found out, thanks to Lisa, that Leonard was missing. She didn't admit to the fact that she was my sister, or that Lewis was my father too, but I thought they could tell that I was hiding something from them.

~My past has tasted bitter, for years now~

"You can tell I'm hiding something." I said, breaking the brief silence in the room.

"Yeah. So what exactly is it?" Cisco asked.

"I'm not who you think I am." I said.

"Then who are you?" Cisco asked.

"I'm a Snart, by blood. Leonard and Lisa are my siblings, Lewis is my father too. I hid that." I said.

"Why?" Cisco asked.

"I've always been ashamed of my past. I hate my father, so I changed my last name. Changed my life, left all of that behind, because I didn't want anyone to know. Don't, be angry that I lied." I said.

"You didn't lie. No one asked about it. Plus, you shouldn't feel bad for leaving a bad situation." Cisco told me.

~So I wield and iron fist, grace is just weakness~

"When we find him. Don't show him any grace or mercy. He doesn't deserve it." I said.

"He may be a criminal, but we don't hurt or kill. It's not right." Barry said.

"Do you think my father gives a damn about what's right or wrong? He took my brother, Barry. He hurt me, and Lenny, and Lisa. I don't give a damn what happens to him. He deserves hell. Actually, hell is to good for him. He deserves worse than hell. He can rot." I said.

"He'll go back to jail, where he belongs." Barry said.

~Or so I've been told, I've been cold, I've been merciless~

"That's still to good for him." I said before walking out of the cortex.

I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and noticed that Cisco was following me.

"Not now, love. I can't, deal right now." I said.

"This isn't like you." Cisco said.

I sat down with my back against the wall. "Not like me? What about this isn't like me?" I asked.

Cisco sat down beside me. "To not show mercy. You aren't cold hearted. You're a good person." He said.

"Maybe I'm not" I said.