Walls

32. Swimming

My delayed call with Felix in which I told him everything about Hyunjin and I -he insisted- came to an end and I was now anxiously waiting the latter to come pick me up. My dad keeps being absent lately so it's easy for me to just leave the house.

There's no way I'm skinny dipping with Hyunjin. Although it is true that he has seen everything so there's really no worry concerning this aspect, I still think it'll be highly uncomfortable to just strip down and swim with him.

As though that's the only thing you'll be doing if you do get there.

My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar car entering the front yard.

"Hey." A confident-looking Hyunjin greeted me.

"Hi." I responded as soon as I opened the passenger's door.

"You look sexy." He commented.

"Sexy? I'm just wearing a casual shorts and top." Is he for real?

"Exactly. Simple looks so attractive on you. Just like the day we were at Rosalind's house and you had your trousers on." He paused before continuing. "Not to say that fancy isn't your style though. When you had that dress on in Chan's and Rosalind's date I wanted to rip it off of you so badly. I didn't even like you back then, damn." He looked completely unphased while saying those things but I felt my cheeks would explode from the heat.

After laughing a little at my reaction, he started the engine and drove to the familiar destination. Upon arriving there, I got out of the car feeling more anxious than ever. There are so many changes happening in my life right now and I'm just starting to realise.

"Come." Hyunjin took the lead and I mindlessly followed him. What's wrong with me now? Why can't I just sit back and enjoy the excitement of my life's latest developments?

We went to our usual sand spot and the thoughts wouldn't leave my mind.

"Hey, what's up?" Hyunjin asked in a soft voice, apparently noticing my weird emotional state.

"Not sure."

"Not sure or don't want to talk about it?" He sounded really calm and chill.

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed." I think that's the right word to describe how I felt.

"Yeah?" He signalled me to continue.

I took a deep breath before starting off with my explanation.

"Everything is happening so suddenly. A few weeks ago I promised myself I wouldn't let me get more involved with you and now we are dating and doing things. Don't get me wrong..." I said as I looked at his confused face. "...I absolutely enjoy what we are and doing but it's a big change for me. I'm also feeling very distant from my dad with all these secrets and the dishonesty. Then Felix's gatherings and now the girls are sort of coming closer to you guys too, these are plenty of changes for a short period of time."

He looked thoughtful, as if he was trying to find the right thing to say.

Is he really thinking this hard just to help me?

"About our situation, if you feel like anything is pressuring you or stressing you out, you can tell me anytime. I mean it." He emphasised his sincerity.

"I know." I smiled softly at how comfortable he makes me feel.

"Good." He smiled back. "Don't feel guilty about the lying to your dad part." He tapped his legs a little frustrated. "All teens do it, it's not wrong or anything. It's simply part of the process. Also, about our friend groups seeming to be mixing sometimes, even if only few people are involved in this, you don't need to worry at all. How they're interacting is their business and choice. You are responsible only for yourself."