Shattered

Appearances

I stare at Ethan as he twists and turns in his sleep. I've been in this bed since last night.

And it's now two in the afternoon. He looks so peaceful.

I can see a little bit of weight coming back. I'm glad. I dont know what I'd do if I lost him.

I also need to try and stay as healthy as possible, his mother already walked out on him I wouldnt want him to loose me as well.

I dont know if I'm ready for this father thing.  I really dont. I dont ever want to disappoint him. Never.

I want to make sure that he has the best life possible. From the best schools to the best colleges and a good life in the future.

And I wont stop until I achieve that.

But right now? Right now I have no idea how to achieve all of that.

Not when he's a fragile little boy, healing from almost dying with an overdose of drugs and loosing his mother. That, I dont know how to do.

Its times like these when I miss my dad.

He did this right? Things like this also went through his mind. But I bet he never thought of the drugs part because my mother was never  crazy enough to leave me for an abusive psychopath.

A knock interrupts my thoughts.

"Nathan sweetheart, someone is here to see you." Janice says.

I don't reply.

Shes trying to force a relationship with her down my throat. This us really not the best time.

The door is pushed open slowly. I dont look up to see by who though. 

It's when she speaks that I spring up.

"Nate." She says and I almost cry.

"Ari?" I ask and she walks up to me and embraces me.

Ari is the older sister that I never had. She has been the one I could talk to about everything.

"Oh Nate I'm so sorry." She says crying with me.

We sit quietly for some time before she speaks again.

"Somehow I knew." She begins wiping her tears away.

I observe closely.

"When my dad married her, it was a very secretive marriage. I wasnt even invited.

Richard never introduced us to her. We barely even saw her as kids. The only thing I knew about her was that my mom hated her and she was the mother of my sister Nat.

Natalie and I are close but even she couldnt introduce me to her mom. One of the days I heard her screaming and yelling.

I walked into my dad's bedroom and I found him beating her up. I didnt see her face properly. Just her side profile.

I never thought about it much. I was just trying to save the woman.

My dad sat me down. He told me that I should never talk about what I saw. I told him I wouldnt.

I ran up to my room and I dialed your number. As it was ringing I started crying. He walked up to see why but he saw that I was calling you.

He hit me Nate. He hit me and Natalia is the one that saved me. She hit him from the back.

The next day, that's when my dad announced that he was cutting me off. He gave me fifty thousand and threw me to the curb.

Mind you, I was nineteen. That's how I moved to Manhattan. That's how you stopped seeing me.