Gov: I think we're missing something.
Texas: Teamwork?
California: Cohesion?
New York: A general sense of what we're doing?
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Washington: Wake me up...
Gov: Before you go go!
California: When September ends...
Arkansas: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-
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New York: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
California: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Texas: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
Florida: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
New York: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
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California: Florida and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Gov: *Sighing* What did Florida do?
California: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Florida: Who wants a steering wheel?
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Gov: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Florida: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Gov: Yes!
Louisiana: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
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Florida: You call yourself a mom friend and yet you won't even breastfeed us.
Louisiana: Shameful.
Gov: WHAT THE [technical glitch]!
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California: Hey are you okay?
New York: Yeah
California: You don't look okay
New York: Then stop looking
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Store Worker: Would a Mr. Gov please come to the front desk?
Gov, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Florida and Louisiana
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Florida and Louisiana, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Gov: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-
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Florida texting New York: New York! Help I'm being kidnapped
New York: Where are you?
Florida: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
New York: I'll call California.
California, answering his cell: Y'ello?
New York: Where's Florida? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.
California: Florida? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-
California:
California: I'll call you back. *hangs up*
California: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Florida: WHO ARE YOU?!
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Gov, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Louisiana: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Gov, with the tone of someone who is used to Louisiana: Outstanding.
Gov: This is what I'm talking about people.
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California: You kidnapped Gov? That's illegal!
Florida: But Cal, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Gov, or destroying our dreams?
California: Kidnapping Gov, Florida!!!
Texas: California, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!
California: What, to kidnap people?!?!
Texas: To work together!
California: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!
Louisiana: California, we all agreed a politician is a not a people.
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California: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Florida will and will not eat.
Louisiana: Grass? Yes!
California: Moss? Yes!!
Louisiana: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
California: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Louisiana: Worms? Sometimes!
California: Rocks? Usually nah.
Louisiana: Twigs? Usually!
California: New York's cooking? Happily!
Texas: How did you... test this?
Louisiana: You jus' hand 'im stuff and say 'eat dis' and if he eat it, he eat it.
Texas: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Gov: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
YOU ARE READING
Welcome to the Statehouse/Table Oneshots and Headcanons
FanfictionA place for me to put my shorter oneshots that I can't justify as standalone pieces and my headcanons for the different states. Goes into the shenanigans of the Statehouse, the angst, and some of the ships.
