(For this one I challenged myself not to use any of the main six unless if it was with different people)
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Arizona: You lying, cheating, piece of [technical glitch]!
New Mexico : Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Arizona: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING COLORADO WITH ME
Utah, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.
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Utah: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Colorado: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
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New Hampshire: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Massachusetts: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
New Hampshire: Three of us saw it, Mass. How do you explain that?
Massachusetts: *points at New York* Sleep deprivation. *points at Pennsylvania* Paranoia. *points at New Jersey* Delusional personality disorder.
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Tennessee: You're a loose cannon, Texas.
Texas: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Oklahoma: I think you play by your own rules.
Arkansas: No way, he think rules were made to be broken.
Tennessee: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Texas: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Florida is a loose cannon.
Florida: *smashes a chair*
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Utah: Anyone d-
Colorado: Depressed?
Washington: Drained?
Arizona: Dumb?
California: Disliked?
Utah: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
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Pennsylvania: What does 'take out' mean?
Massachusetts: Food.
Vermont: Dating
New York: Murder
Rhode Island: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
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Oregon: Bye Washington! Bye Nevada! Bye California! Bye Idaho! Bye Washington!
California: You said 'bye Washington' twice.
Oregon: I like Washington.
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Utah: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
California: 'Prettiest Smile'
Colorado: 'Nicest Personality'
Idaho: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Alaska: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
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California: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Washington: ... Your what?
California: My friends.
Oregon: Are they saying "friends"?
Nevada: I think they're being sarcastic.
Washington: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, California! All of your friends are in this room.
California: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends so I would stop talking to you guys, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
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Massachusetts: *Screams*
New York: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Connecticut: Should we do something?!
Rhode Island, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
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California: Alaska isn't answering his phone
Hawaii: I'll call
California: Utah and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Alaska: Hello?
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Delaware: Why is New York so sad?
Connecticut: He took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes
Delaware: And...?
Connecticut: He got Massachusetts.
or
Kentucky: Why is Oklahoma so sad?
Arkansas: He took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes
Kentucky: And...?
Arkansas: He got Texas.
or
Utah: Why is Washington so sad?
Oregon: He took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes
Utah: And...?
Oregon: He got California.
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California, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.
Oregon: Okay
Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?
California: Orange soda, please!
Oregon: I'll have the strawberry soda.
Washington: Me too, strawberry soda.
California:
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Utah: Nevada, keep an eye on California today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Nevada: Sure, I'd love to see California get punched.
Utah: Try again.
Nevada, sighing: I will stop California from getting punched.
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Indiana, trying to ask Alabama out: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Nebraska: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
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Tennessee: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Florida: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Louisiana: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Florida: Good thinking.
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Arkansas: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it
Texas: Just rip the bandage off.
Arkansas: It's Oklahoma.
Texas: Put the bandage back on.
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Alaska: Who the [technical glitch] added me to a fucking group chat?
Utah: >:O language
Oregon: Yeah watch your [technical glitch]ing language
Idaho: OKAY WHO TAUGHT OREGON THE [technical glitch] WORD?
Nevada: 'The [technical glitch] word'.
California: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Oregon: Oh my god he censored it
Colorado: Say [technical glitch], California.
Nevada: Do it, California. Say [technical glitch].
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Montana, pointing: May I sit there?
Wyoming: That's my lap
Montana: That doesn't answer my question, Wyoming.
YOU ARE READING
Welcome to the Statehouse/Table Oneshots and Headcanons
FanfictionA place for me to put my shorter oneshots that I can't justify as standalone pieces and my headcanons for the different states. Goes into the shenanigans of the Statehouse, the angst, and some of the ships.
