Vermont: Whenever Ham is mad at me I tighten all the jars in the kitchen so he has to come to me for help
(sound of glass smashing)
Vermont: It hasn't worked yet but I'm staying hopeful
---------------
Florida, at 2am: Gov
Gov, barely awake: What
Florida: I kinda want to see the year 6969 so do you wanna help me build a time machine
Florida: Though I don't know how to do that
Florida: But we'll probably figure something out
Gov: rolls over in bed
Florida: Gov? Gov?? Don't act like you've got better things to do for the next 4948 years. Gov are you listening
---------------
Texas walks into Arkansas's room
Texas: Ark why are you naked
Arkansas, sweating: I don't have clothes
Texas: opens Arkansas's closet
Texas: Yes you do. You have shirts, pants, jackets, hi Oklahoma, sweaters-
Texas:
Arkansas:
Oklahoma:
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Massachusetts: CONFESS.
Virginia: What?
Massachusetts: SAY IT!
Virginia: but-
Massachusetts: RIGHT NOW!!
Virginia: ALRIGHT FINE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!
Massachusetts:
Massachusetts: Oh, uh, so it wasn't you who drank my dunks?
---------------
Gov: You may address me as Mr. American Government or just American Government.
Florida: Morning, Gov!
The UN: ...
Gov: ...
Gov: Good morning, Florida.
---------------
Florida: Uh, I think I got your lunch. Holds up a note that reads: 'I am very proud of you. Love, Gov'
California: Oh yeah. I didn't think this was for me. Holds up a note that reads: 'Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.'
---------------
Texas: Porn is so unrealistic, I just took a shower with California and stood in the corner freezing for 20 minutes handing him different shampoos.
---------------
Massachusetts: Virginia and I have agreed to never go to bed angry at each other.
Virginia: We've been awake since Friday.
Massachusetts: Well IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST ADMIT THEY WERE WRONG-
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New Mexico: You know, Utah gives Illithiya flowers every day. i wish you would do that.
Arizona: hmm... okay
(next day)
Arizona: gives Illithiya flowers
Illithiya: what?
Arizona: I don't get it either
---------------
New York: I have one emotion and it's spite
Gov: last night you texted me a hundred heart emojis
New York: out of spite-
---------------
Indiana: If I committed a murder, would you tell on me?
Alabama: No, but I'd use it against you all the time. I'd always be like 'are you going to do the dishes, or am I going to have to make a phone call'?
---------------
Montana, laying in Wyoming's lap: Wy tell me I'm pretty
Wyoming, lovingly stroking his hair: you're pretty fucking annoying is what you are
---------------
France: Aw, c'mon, why does Florida have to come?
Gov: He needs constant supervision and attention
Florida, clinging to Gov: yeah, so deal with it, bitch
---------------
Gov: New York sometimes sleep talks. I think it's quite adorable
In the night
New York, asleep: fight me... you ass... square up... i think the fuck not
---------------
Hawaii: How do I look?
American Samoa: Like a widow in mourning.
Hawaii: Perfect. He'll know I'm available.
---------------
Tennessee: Ugh. You are so fucking annoying sometimes.
Kentucky: Stop holding my hand then?
Tennessee, squeezing tighter: Never.
---------------
New York: I don't think that jacket suits you. Or that shirt. And those pants are hideous.
Gov: You're stripping me.
---------------
Ohio: That's a pretty cool rock
Indiana: Thanks, Al gave it to me
Alabama: I threw it at you
Indiana: He's very sweet
---------------
Utah: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Illithiya, blushing: Okay.
Nevada: It's fucking summer.
---------------
Alabama: Indie and I don't have petnames for each other.
Mississippi: Uh huh. You know what bees make right?
Alabama: Honey?
Indiana: Yes dear?
Mississippi: Don't lie to my face ever again.
---------------
Virginia: Why isn't West back yet? Do you think he's okay?
Massachusetts: How should I know? And how come you never ask if I'm okay? I'm feeling a little neglected here.
Virginia: Oh sorry! Are you okay Mass?
Massachusetts: Shut up.
---------------
Florida, about Hawaii: She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary.
Alaska: She thinks it's fancy?
---------------
Alabama: Truth or dare?
Mississippi: Dare
Alabama: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Mississippi: Hey Georgia
Georgia, blushing: Yeah?
Mississippi: Could you move? I'm trying to get to CDC
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Colorado: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Arizona to marry you.
New Mexico: Okay, I'm listening.
Colorado: Step one, get him to play truth or dare.
New Mexico: Oh God, stop.
Colorado: Step two, wait until he picks dare, which he will, OBVIOUSLY...
New Mexico: Coco, no.
Colorado: Step three, dare him to marry you.
New Mexico: ...
Utah: It could work!
---------------
Massachusetts, half asleep, nuzzled under Virginia's chin: I could kill you
Virginia, kissing his forehead: Yeah I know.
---------------
Kentucky: So uh which one of you is more clingy again?
Massachusetts, sitting on Virginia's lap, arms wrapped around his neck and head resting on his shoulder: Ginny obviously.
YOU ARE READING
Welcome to the Statehouse/Table Oneshots and Headcanons
FanfictionA place for me to put my shorter oneshots that I can't justify as standalone pieces and my headcanons for the different states. Goes into the shenanigans of the Statehouse, the angst, and some of the ships.
