chapt 52 • Selfish Doubts

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Waking up with his head lying on my stomach has become a thing since he tossed out my pills and made me promise that I would never take them again

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Waking up with his head lying on my stomach has become a thing since he tossed out my pills and made me promise that I would never take them again.

I haven't taken them since that day and the side effects haven't been to pleasing.

I woke up early and showered, which mainly considered cleaning my body at first and then standing underneath the shower head lost in my thoughts.And now I sat by the window and watched the grey sky. Thinking about my conversation with Adam.

I did accept him as my father but he would always be Adam to me, the first person I met who took the time to listen, to understand me.

I was still thinking about going to talk to him today but I wasn't fully ready just to jump into talking about the past. Not with all that's been going on.

I didn't want to think about anything today, I just wanted to clear my head and get rid of my overbearing thoughts but that was a battle I always lost.

The countless calls Grandma left, left me no choice but to block her number and ask Carter to erase her name from my visiting page which he said I couldn't do because I needed at least one adult on my emergency contacts.

So I requested him to ask Adam, who accepted, and both Grandma and Noah were taken off and couldn't visit me even if they miraculously decided that they wanted to.

Noah, who I still thought about, hadn't done anything after being punched and knocked out by Alessio. I didn't know whether to be relieved or suspicious that maybe he was up to something.

This was my last month at Hartford, the second the last day hit, I was free to move on and start my life without any problems and leave behind a life that I couldn't wait to forget.

Alessio wraps a blanket around my shoulders as he finishes brushing his teeth and exiting the bathroom. I stared out his window and watched the gray sky reflect across the lake in the back of the academy, his room has a perfect view.

"Did you have trouble sleeping? You should've woken me up and I would've" I place my finger against his lips to quiet him down.

"I just woke up early, I slept fine" I've been sleeping better because of him, soundly as well, without the constant disturbance of my mind waking me up in the middle of the night and refusing to go back to sleep.

"Can we stay in here for today? I don't want to be around anyone, please?" I clutch the blanket around me as I begin to feel the morning breeze.

"But I'm here" He refers to when I said that I didn't want to be around anyone today and I kept my gaze focused out the window.

"You don't count" I finally turn my head to look at him and the second I do, I catch him already looking over the features of my face as if he's memorizing each detail.

I find myself doing the same, I couldn't believe how perfect everything about him was.

Golden brown eyes hide behind clear lenses that only ever dimmed when he was upset or something was bothering him, perfectly cut cheekbones that go along with his dimples, the left one showing whether he smiles or not. Neatly shaped eyebrows that couldn't hide the emotions he felt, perfect, full lips that never once said anything wrong and felt so good against mine.

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