Chapter Thirty-Eight

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Dearest gentle reader. Did you miss me?

As the members of our esteemed ton lazily sojourned in their rustic retreats, this author was doing but one thing. Honing my skills.Or should I say, hatching my plans? No, even better. I was sharpening my knives for all of you.

 Questions abound as to this author's identity and means. Seeking those answers shall prove fruitless, indeed. There is, of course, another unknown identity at present. Though, this one you will be able to unearth. I speak of the season's diamond, wherever she may be. Your move, Your Majesty.


The Bridgertons were now in the parlor. Violet had assigned Benedict the assignment of teaching Eloise to dance properly. Now, they were attempting a waltz, and it was quite comical, considering the girl wasn't graceful whatsoever. Hyacinth was seated beside Loren on the couch, "I do not think she's very good." The young girl said. Loren chuckled, "I believe she can hear you." 

"I can hear you!" 

"Ow, watch my foot!" Benedict exclaimed, jumping back from the girl. Eloise groaned, "Might we be done?" She asked her Mother. Violet sighed, "If you are to catch the queen's eye after that interruption, you must be perfect." Eloise collapsed into a chair, "I believe it was the interruption that was perfect." Benedict snickered, "Shocking that Eloise Bridgerton was not named the season diamond was it not?" He teased as he extended his hand toward Loren, who graciously took it. The two then began dancing playfully as Francesca continued to tickle the ivories. 

As Benedict twirled Loren around, Anthony entered the parlor, a serious expression upon his face. His gaze flickered to Loren, who met his gaze. A soft smile spread across her lips as Benedict began to waltz with her again. Anthony swallowed the painful feeling of jealousy and instead replaced it with a smile of his own, admiring the fun the two were having. 

 "Joining us for tea, Anthony?" Violet asked, the man faced her, shaking his head, "Uh, I'm afraid I must pass. Too many calls on my funds today." 

And although no one in particular asked, he began listing off his duties, "Now that the season has started, I need to fill your coffers at the modiste and oversee the hiring of extra staff. Your ring. When you get the chance, I need it. The fields by Ferryhallow. I was thinking we might hold off on leasing them due to the hard frost." 

Violet arched her brows at the talk of her ring, "I beg your pardon?" She questioned. Anthony's brows furrowed in confusion, "The frost hardens the soil...saps it of its nutrients-" "You asked for the ring, Anthony, that is what she is asking about." Loren clarified as she and the second brother stopped their waltz. Benedict smirked as he looked at his older brother, "Did someone catch your eye at the presentation, brother?" 

Loren felt her heart ache at the thought. She didn't understand how he could move on so quickly, she felt so betrayed. But, she was strong. And she would be there to support him. Loren would live out her days watching as the people she loved grew and married and started a family of their own. She would become the new patriarch for the newest generation of Bridgertons. And she would be happy about it. For if you truly love someone, you must let them go, and that is exactly what Loren must do with Anthony.

"Not particularly. And all the young ladies looked the same. Like ladies." Anthony said. It was true, no lady caught his eye. They all seemed average enough, nothing too special about them. The only woman who he could possibly be interested in was Loren, for she looked as gorgeous as ever this morning. But he could not have her, that much was decided due to his dumbassery, which he was ultimately regretting more and more with every passing second. 

He continued, "I'd simply like to be prepared for when the opportunity presents itself." Violet scoffed, "The opportunity?" Anthony nodded, "I've complied an index of the season's eligible misses and arranged interviews." Loren scoffed this time, "Interviews?? Seriously Anthony?" 

"Dearest, I shall be more than happy to give you my ring when you find someone with whom you are very much in love. Besides, it is in safekeeping at Aubrey Hall." Violet explained. Anthony nodded, "Very well." He did not miss the way his Mother's gaze shifted to Loren as she spoke of being very much in love, but he decided to ignore it. 

He made his way toward the door when Violet spoke to Loren, "See that he is well?" The woman arched her brows, "Me??" Anthony whipped back around, "I am in no need of coddling. I assure you, everything is in order." There was a short pause before he spoke again, "Loren, please come with me a moment." Loren blinked in confusion as Anthony nodded toward the door, beckoning for her to come with him. The woman sighed as she approached him. The two exited the room, Loren faced him, crossing her arms, "What is this about, Anthony?" The man exhaled deeply, "This is not the most ideal situation, I know, and I am quite ashamed to ask such a thing of you, considering our history..." He began, unsure of how to word his request. Loren waited patiently for him to continue. It took a few moments for him to compose himself before he asked, "Would you accompany me to some of these interviews?"

Loren stared at him although he was insane, "I'm sorry, I do not think I heard you properly--did you ask me to accompany you to the interviews for your Viscountess?" The man smiled sheepishly before nodding. "Why do you need me? You are a full-grown man. You are Viscount Anthony Bridgerton. You are perfectly capable of doing this on your own." 

Anthony sighed, resting his hands upon his hips, "Yes, I know. But Loren, I need you. I trust your judgement far more than my own. I understand that this is a difficult situation--"

"Do you realize what you are asking of me? You are asking me to help the man I love find a wife! Do you understand how hard this is??" Anthony was taken aback by her words. He knew that she still loved him, but to hear her admit it was a whole different story. It took all of his strength to not kiss her right then and there. 

Loren watched as the man malfunctioned, rolling her eyes before she moved toward the parlor once again, but Anthony grasped her wrist gently. He turned her back to face him, his dark eyes soft with affection, "Loren, I am terribly sorry. I truly am, and I wish that I could show you how sorry I am so all I have put you through. It is my biggest regret, and I will continue to bear it. But Loren... I.. I need you."

His voice was so desperate, so soft. Loren sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Okay." She said simply. "Okay?" Anthony repeated. "Okay. I will go with you." She clarified.  A wave of relief washed over the man as he smiled, "Perfect. Thank you Loren, I do not know how I will ever repay you." 

Loren simple nodded, a pained smile upon her lips, "Of course. This is what friends are for." 

In that moment, two hearts shattered once again, for they were now only friends, nothing more. And that is how it would remain. For Anthony was to find a wife, and Loren was to be alone. 

That is how the story would be and there was no changing that.


-*-*-*-


*Anthony trying to comprehend how Loren still loves him*

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*Anthony trying to comprehend how Loren still loves him*


I am trying to figure out why I am doing this to my babies, I just want them to be happy--but I also want drama lolll

DOUBLE UPDATEEE! I felt motivated after writing the last chapter so yay!

Thank you for reading and please comment your thoughts!

-Av-

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