One String Attached

83.

.James.

The next court proceeding wasn't until tomorrow, meaning we had today to to relax, though I doubt there will be much relaxation taking place.

Riley was still on the hunt, trying to find a dancer suitable able enough to replace Piper at Nationals, someone to meet my sister's ability and she had been on the phone to Emily about it earlier this morning.

Seeing as Emily's team had gone to Regionals but not won and progressed onto Nationals, it meant all of her dancers were available for us to poach one of them.
Riley was just trying to bargain with her but I'm not sure exactly how far that had got.

Mum had invited us over to hers and Dad's for the day so we'd taken the kids along with us for our occasional family gathering. Piper, Finn and Nathan's lot would be there too.
But honestly? I think this would only be good for the kids. Riley, Nathan and I all had a lot on our plates at the moment with this whole court case thing going on. The last thing I should be doing is socialising.

I pull the car up outside the drive to find Nathan's car already parked in the drive-way, next to Dad's car. It was Nathan who had offered to drive Piper and Finn here in the first place, considering Piper's injury and the fact Finn still didn't quite know the way here.

Turning the car engine off, I rotate my head around to look at Riley before smiling at her softly as she gives me a similar smile herself.
"You get Ash and Li. I've got Autumn," she says to me as my hand was placed on her thigh. I nod my head before we both fidget and undo our seatbelts to get out of the car and get the kids, all of which were currently in the middle of a light sleep.

Aaliyah was the easiest to wake up out of the three of them so once she's up, she jumps down out of the car and saunters onwards towards the door, already knowing her way around the place. 

Asher was up but nowhere near as awake as Aaliyah was. He was tired and sleepy still and after picking him up, he wraps his arms around my neck, clinging onto me while his limbs straddled me like a koala, not daring to let go.
Riley chuckles softly at our son's behaviour while she carried Autumn against her chest, warming her up as she wore nothing but a baby grow, covered in a light white blanket.

After Aaliyah rings the doorbell, Mum answers it shortly afterwards and as soon as her eyes land on all of us, she smiles and gushes down at Liyah before scooping her up into her arms and filling her face with kisses, left, right and centre.

"Hey, baby," Mum says to her as Aaliyah squeals and squirms in her arms in a hissy fit.
"Hi, Nana," Liyah responds, flinging her arms around her grandmother's neck and kissing her cheek lightly, making Mum laugh softly.

"There's my little newborn," she says, glancing down at Autumn. "Come in, everyone's here already." She steps aside, allowing us to walk through the door before I close it behind me, being the last one to enter along with Asher who I carried still.

After Mum had led us deeper into the living room, we sat ourselves down on one of the sofas in the lounge. Dad was sat on the other sofa with Piper and Finn while Nathan and Grace sat at the kitchen island, drinks in their hands.

Madison was outside with the puppies and as soon as Aaliyah spots her, she looks towards me and Riley with a desperate expression.
"Go on, sweetheart. Have fun, okay," Ri tells her softly before she smiles and runs off on her two little legs after jumping off of Mum's lap. Piper chuckles and then uses her cutches to help her stand up.

"I'll go and watch over them. Finn, you coming?" she asks her boyfriend.
He had a look of terror on his face, almost like he had gone back to being scared of me. But I soften and nod my head a little, allowing him to perceive my calm before he eventually gets up and follows my sister out towards the garden outback.

"So how's the court proceeding going? Nathan says you should be done with it within the next week or so," Dad speaks up, causing both mine and Riley's eyes divert towards him from where he was sat opposite us. Mum sits herself down by Dad's side and crosses one leg over the other, looking at us both.

"Uh, yeah," Ri mumbles, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's going okay. It's a bit stressful though."
"Especially considering Bryson is the biggest liar out there," I add on, wrapping an arm around Riley's shoulders to pull her the slightest bit closer to me.

She held Autumn close to her chest still while Asher stirred from where he was sat on my lap. His eyes were open but he wasn't completely with it just yet. Out of the three of our kids, he was definitely the sleepyhead.

"I just can't wait until it's all over with," Riley mumbles, sighing. I couldn't blame her. I felt the exact same way. 

During the time we had been at court, I'd realised something I really wish I hadn't. Part of me knows I should tell Riley because she deserves to know about it but the other part of me feels like if I do tell her, it would ruin everything.

Now that we're back on track and in unison, we've been better off without all of the dramas which seemed to follow us along our path. If this truth comes out, it'd be risking everything and I just don't know if I'm ready for it.

I thought I couldn't remember who it was I'd cheated on Riley with back then, back when she was pregnant with Autumn and was stressed because of this whole Bryson situation. 
But now that I know... I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did...

Riley's a sensitive person. The fact she forgave me those few months ago for what I did was enough to shock me. I didn't deserve to be forgiven but I know we couldn't have let it get the better of us, especially with three children.
I love Riley as much as she loves me, but what I've realised might just be enough to cause our growth to deteriorate.

"James," Riley says, nudging me softly, making me snap out of my thoughts to turn and look at her. "I'm gonna go put Autumn down in the cot upstairs. I don't think she'll be waking up any time soon," she tells me, causing me to nod.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to put her down instead?" I ask her, but she shakes her head with a light smile.
"No, it's okay. I've got it." She kisses my cheek before standing up to begin making her way upstairs while I remained sat on the sofa with Asher curled up beside me.

If Riley was going to find out at any point, it meant my time with her was limited...
I just hope she doesn't call quits because of my actions in the long-run...