No luck// RONANCE

Robins backstory

Robin buckleys backstory is more upsetting than anyone in Hawkins is aware of. A backstory is more than how you were raised, it's about your trauma and what's under the surface. Like what the hell is going on inside robins brain, her thoughts and the way she functions.

It's more complicated than anyone could possibly understand, even Robin herself. The people closest to her have noticed small things relating to this, like the way her hands shake and she tries to hide it, or how she zones out or the way she stumbles over her words.

She was never very good with her words, even as a kid she would constantly get in trouble but couldn't understand why, she was always told to be honest but didn't realise that you can't be too honest without society judging you.

Once she got into high school she started to become aware of the unspoken rules that society has put in place. She knew them but those rules became difficult to her, she tried to change the way her brain worked because she didn't wanted to be known as different, especially in high school.

This kept her awake most nights, how was anyone supposed to love her if she isn't like everyone else? The worst part about it was she didn't even know why she wasn't. Was it just a personality thing or was she truly broken.

She can't think of a time where she hasn't zoned out, sometimes there's too many thoughts inside her brain that they start to clash together and everything becomes a bit too much. That's when she can't focus, on anything really. Not on what the other person is saying or what's going on around her.

She never really knew how to explain it but sometimes she didn't feel real, she knew she was a human and this wasn't a movie or something but sometimes she could feel herself drifting away. She would feel like she was floating but still have her feet pressed firmly on the ground. This made no sense to her and it still doesn't, she was too scared to mention it to anybody because it seems like everyone has their shit together while she is still there, in the background.

Maybe she was going to get left behind someday, she was bracing herself for it. Even in school she didn't feel like she was apart of a group, even around her friends it seemed like they all had a connection that she didn't have. Maybe somewhere along the way of her existence a wire broke that's been crashing the whole system.

Everyone else's wires seem to be in check and they were functioning normally, but for Robin to act like them felt fake, like she was pretending to be something she's not.

She knew if she tried to explain what she was feeling people would probably think she was on drugs or something. It didn't seem normal the way she functioned and the worst thing was she couldn't do anything about it, she couldn't replace the wires. She was born broken and will die broken.

Everyone seemed to treat her differently, everyone except Steve and Nancy. She felt like she didn't have to pretend with them and Nancy actually didn't find her rambling annoying which to this day robin still can't believe.

How was it possible that even with all the broken wires and damaged pieces somebody still wanted her? With Nancy she felt seen, she's never felt that way before.

Robin just wished she could get the courage to tell Nancy half of the stuff going on inside her head but she's terrified it will scare her away, make her run as far away as she can. Robin wouldn't blame her either way, I mean who wouldn't run?

She can't even wear normal pyjama trousers, she has to wear the kind that flow off her legs so they don't touch you. If she doesn't she feels suffocated, robin would always look at the popular girls with those tight shirts wrapping around their bodies and she just didn't understand how they didn't feel suffocated and itchy.

This made it difficult when birthdays and Christmas came around because when people would buy her clothes she couldn't wear half of them without having a mental breakdown, it made her feel like such a freak.

But of course her family always brushed it off as an attitude problem even from such a young age. She was always just being disrespectful in their eyes which robin found so unfair. Why should she get punished for something she had no control over?

She got sent to her room a lot as a kid but it turned out to not be so bad because she started to enjoy it. That's how she realised she liked being in quiet rooms so much, when everything got too much and the talking and music got too loud and the room started spinning, she would find an empty room and just sit there for a while.

So you see, this backstory has nothing to do with robins childhood it has to do with her brain and all the trouble it has caused for her. If you think that's her whole backstory then we have a lot to unpack, but so does everyone in Hawkins including Nancy wheeler.

(A/N I just really wanted to do a bit of a backstory to Robin I'm sorry it wasn't ronance but I hope you enjoy! Stay safe my lovelies <3)