Anthony's Diamond (Anthony Bridgerton Fanfic)

37. The Big Day

"Veronica, it is time to wake up," Matilda's familiar and ever so happy voice rings across the room. Slowly I open my eyes, upset over how poorly I slept. I am just glad that there were no nightmares throughout the night. They have been coming less and less and for that, I am thankful.

"Good morning," I groggily reply, not nearly as peppy.

"How did you sleep?" Matilda asks as I stretch and yawn, maybe a little bit dramatically.

"Fine," I reply, "But, I could not be more happy to be awake,"

"Well I am glad to hear, for a second there I thought you began to forget what today is," Matilda snickers as she begins to take my dress out of its protective covering. I watch it intently, how beautiful it is, how today is the big day, how Anthony will see me in this in just a few hours, it all is crashing down on me right now.

"It's a beautiful dress isn't it," I reply to her statement, not truly addressing her words, "It is, your mother always had the best taste,"

"She did, didn't she," I reply now thinking of her. How she always was so gentle, caring, and never wanted anything less than the best for me. How above all else she simply wanted me to be happy. I wonder what this season would have been like if she didn't get sick. Would she have allowed the proposition with Stephan to happen? I doubt it but women's words in this society have little impact. Would I be feeling so dramatically homesick?

"Miss, it's time to get out of bed now. I ran your bath right before walking in and it may get cold if we wait much longer," Matilda insists as she finishes draping the matching veil on top on the dress.

"Alright fine," I groan before dramatically rolling out of my bed, trying hard to not feel the immense amount of anxiety that is threatening me.

From there I follow Matilda to my bath chambers, still wrapped up in my bedsheets. Once inside I set the blankets onto the ground in a messy pile before following suit with my nightgown. Carefully I hop inside of the bath and let Matilda wash my hair.

"Are you excited Veronica? I mean this is a very big day and you have showed almost no emotion to the matter,"

"I am. I am a little bit nervous for the ceremony but, I am marrying the love of my life so a i couldn't be any happier. I just am trying to adjust to reality. Can you understand that? It's as if I hold these feelings off for longer they won't feel as real,"

"But don't you want them to feel real? Veronica, I know I am just your help but, I see you as a lot more than that. I feel as though after all these years I can call you my friend. I know you, I have watched you grow, and I know that your mother would want you to be embracing every second of this day. I can see that you miss her, that you're acting reserved not only because of your mother, but also your father and maybe even Stephan," She explains gently and I can feel my eyes begin to water, "You are marrying the love of your life today. I know this is not how you ever envisioned your wedding to be but I can guarantee your Mother is watching with a grin from the heavens. You may have had a traumatic past month, and you may have experienced loss, but you are also gaining so much,"

"I think I am just scared," I quietly reply.

"Scared? Why of course you are! Anyone would be but aren't you also happy? And if you aren't why are you going through with this? You already escaped a marriage you didn't want once before, and I believe that Anthony cares about you enough to let you go-"

"No! No, I am happy! I would die before letting go of Anthony once more. There is just so much to think about and to dwell on,"

"Well I suggest you take your time to figure all of your feelings out. But, at the same time you are to be married today, you are to engage socially with lots of people today. Do you want to remember today as one where you felt like hiding away, or one where you lived every moment to the fullest?"