Little Game

Chapter 48

Isabella felt as though she was suddenly trapped under something. Her airway suddenly became limited and all the sweetness and beauty of the world suddenly turned dark, as dark as the bottom of the ocean. All conversation halted and all people suddenly melted away into the surroundings as Nicolai slowly turned his head to look at her.

The wind turned cold and loud as it rustled loudly in her ears. It was as if it was portraying her wrath as it moved around in people and in trees.

Nicolai's gaze were filled with years of untold stories. His frame grew and his appearance changed. Just like how people do when they grow up. 

Nicolai took a step forward and it felt as if his step made her entire world tremble in fear with memories of them. Of him. Of abandonment. Of the pain. Of the grief.

He took another step and she remembers the days where he told her: 'She's got my back. Isabella's the first and last best friend that I'll ever have and I don't know what I'll do without her.'

She didn't know what she'll do without him and yet she had to live without him. She had to. She didn't have a choice.

Isabella took a step back, her breathing suddenly felt shallow. She remembers the way he would hold her hand whenever he would go somewhere only they could go.  How he had he smile at her like that? How he had he be so kind?

And yet, he left her behind.

'She always pushed me to my limits, pulled me out of my comfort zone.'

And yet, he left her behind like the rest of them. Like how they left. And she shouldn't be sad about that. She shouldn't! That's how life is. People come and go. And sometimes, people just go without saying goodbye, or without fixing the problem at hand. Sometimes, they just leave because it's more easier that way.

'Always giving me those comfort cookies and milk that always makes me cheer up.'

And she's fine. She's not sad. She shouldn't be. Isabella should be happy. It's not like there's something wrong with her. Nothing's wrong with her.

'She's there. She's just there to make my day brighter.'

Isabella took a step back. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She needs help. Isabella needs....

Isabella gasped, as if she was a drowning man as she tried to get away from the pain that's starting to bloom in her heart.

Why couldn't she learn? Why can't she just accept that they left her because they were tired of her. They were tired of her because apparently, she's a burden the moment they came into their lives.

Isabella's a monster.

She's shaped me into someone who I could actually be proud of.

Isabella's a burden. She was the one who drove them away. She was the one who made their lives difficult. She was the one who made their lives so wrong because she was born wrong. She was born different. Isabella was born to be unwanted. The moment she was born from the moment she will die.

How could she let herself be a burden? This was all her fault. This was all her mistake. She was wrong. She was born wrong.

'That's my best friend.'

Everyone thinks she's kind. Everyone thinks she's some kind of saint for wanting to forgive and forget everything's that's happened.

'That's Isabella for me and I love her.'

But that's not it. She just wants it to end. She's not kind. She's willing to apologize for the sake of being the glue of the family. Isabella just wants things to get fixed.