if i could tell you | taegyu🔞 | [COMPLETED]

Chapter 7

This chapter is dedicated to @swotato_corn :)) thank you for adding my story to your reading list!!

Beomgyu wakes up the next morning to Taehyun's serene face. There's dried drool smeared across his cheek and his hair resembles a rat's nest. Angry, red pillow marks crease his forehead, but Beomgyu still blindly searches for his phone under the sheets and snaps a picture of Taehyun's blissed-out expression.

Beomgyu wants this more than he's ever wanted anything in his mediocre life. Both the pleasure-filled nights and the silent mornings. He wanted to hold Taehyun down and make him ache, make him cry, then wrap him up in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

If admiring Taehyun from afar was all he could have, then he would take it. Every minuscule inch.

Beomgyu sighs and wraps himself up in Taehyun's duvet again before closing his eyes and letting exhaustion consume him.

***

Loving Taehyun is the easiest thing Beomgyu has ever done. It's in the little things like Taehyun trusting him enough to let his inner child out around him, Taehyun resting his head on Beomgyu's chest and whining about what a long day he's had, Taehyun never judging Beomgyu for his quirks, like insisting on pouring milk before cereal. If Taehyun has ever found Beomgyu annoying, he's never let on.

Loving Taehyun is also the hardest thing Beomgyu has ever and will ever have to do. While his love flows like an ocean, he'll always have to keep it restrained, never letting the younger feel the waves of his love.

Taehyun's fastidiousness stands like a dam wall between them. Taehyun wanted to be the perfect son, the perfect brother, perfect student, perfect everything. It was a miracle he stuck around Beomgyu for as long as he has.

Beomgyu wants to be perfect for Taehyun, so he has reason to want to keep him around. Beomgyu knows that soon, Taehyun will tire of him; one can only bear with a nuisance for so long.

Beomgyu can already see it happening in real-time. Taehyun no longer asks him to walk him home after his shift and spends more and more time with Heeseung. The only thing that hasn't changed is how sure Beomgyu is that Taehyun will end their relationship if he knew Beomgyu wanted far more than he was willing to offer. Beomgyu knows the rules of the game. You aren't supposed to fall for a casual fuck; you aren't supposed to want more than the instant release and gratification, the easy distraction that comes with losing yourself in another person's body.

Beomgyu wishes he had Heeseung's easy smile and warm personality because maybe then Taehyun would want him just as much.

Beomgyu just can't let Taehyun go. Instead, he buries how he feels in a chest and locks it into the recesses of his heart because he's selfish. He's selfish, and he needs Taehyun.

He won't let him go just yet.

***

Taehyun moans as Beomgyu licks into his mouth. The younger is laid out beneath him on his living room couch, hands beneath Beomgyu's shirt, caressing his skin and occasionally tweaking his nipple. It's enough to have Beomgyu hard in his pants. He rolls his hips against Taehyun's as he bites down on his bottom lip. Taehyun keens, pulls Beomgyu closer.

Yeonjun's visiting his family in Seongnam for the weekend, so Taehyun and Beomgyu resolve to take advantage of the empty apartment.

Taehyun has always loved physical intimacy, he's told Beomgyu so himself. So Beomgyu knows the kiss means nothing, knows it's just Taehyun seeking affection.

But sometimes, when he has Taehyun this close, he likes to pretend. He likes to imagine that he's more than just a distraction to Taehyun, or a body to keep his bed warm. He likes to imagine that Taehyun is his for more than just a few stolen moments. He likes to pretend until he's drowning in what-ifs. Then he reminds himself to come up for air.