Chapter 21 [Q]

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Trigger Warning

While eating at Emily's house my mind keeps wandering off to Malia's face drenched with tears as her chin trembled and her eyes were red on the call when she was telling us everything and how it was the same today when she opened the door. My heart squeezes at the thought of Malia blaming everything on herself. Just with the thoughts of that piece of shit Rowan my fingers grip the fork with everything in me.

I don't know what the fork did to me. All I know is I'm hurting it. "Right Quinton?" Malia asks me as everyone else looks at me waiting for me to respond to what she said.

Shit. I blanked out. I feel like such an ass, and right now I'm contemplating what I should say.

"Um yeah." I say trying to play it all cool letting a smile force through nodding my head. Now I'm wondering what they were really talking about and what I just said yes to.

"I told you Quinton never hated me when we first met, and he was so kind that he held his umbrella for me because it was raining like crazy that day." she says smiling.

I remember that day. I think it's my favorite day. The day I met the love of my life. The day I met my whole world.  I was staring at her like she carried my heart in the palm of her hands, considering we just met I was making fun of myself for being all love at first sight. But all I could say was that my breath was stolen away from me.

"I remember I was running stressed for an interview somewhere and I bumped into him and my papers flew everywhere. As you can tell knowing how sensitive I am I started crying right there and while that was happening he handed me my papers. By the time the interview was over I knew I didn't have the job and not much of a place to stay. Hopeless. I felt so hopeless so I sat on the steps of this area and it started to rain. So I sat there quietly crying until I felt the rain stop but the rain didn't stop instead it was Quinton standing right above me with an umbrella over my head. I quickly got up so frantic to ask why he's not using the umbrella on himself since he was so wet now. But I guess it was fate, and then he offered me a place to stay and I met Emma. One of my favorite people in the world. Then I got a job and finally helped with the money and everything and our friendship got stronger." she says, biting her lip as her eyes glow, reminiscing that day.

"Please the way Malia and I met was so funny," he stops seeing the glare on Malia's face then continues. "For me, for her I'd say pretty scary. Anyways I almost ran her over." he says before taking his fork and taking a bite of his food.

"Whoa, whoa, you can't just drop a bomb like that and say you almost ran someone nonetheless Malia over. What happened next?" Emily says.

"Okay fine. So I was getting late to work and might have been driving fast and almost ran Malia over. But like the good person I am I went to check up on her and she was okay and she was a bit shaken up but she was fine. After that we became friends because I told her to keep my number if she feels any pain because obviously I want to take responsibility for my stupid actions." Darren says.

The next moments go with silence as we eat, well not silence considering 'How I met your mother' is playing on the tv. After we're done eating and catching up and talking I ask Malia if I could talk to her in a room alone and she comes with me.

"Malia." I say trying to catch her attention as I gently pull at her chin making her look up at me. "He lied, Quinton, he hurt me. He hurt me so much and I still love him in a fucked up twisted way," she says bursting into hysterical sobs. I pull her close to me sighing.

"Let it out Malia, you're the strongest woman I know. I love you so much." I say softly as I back us onto the bed.

"I love him so much and all he does is hurt me. I give and give and he takes and takes. How could you hurt someone you love so much? He said my mom was the right one. I trusted him and gave myself to him, how could he? It hurts so bad. I hate it. The worst part is I can't hate him entirely. I love him but I also hate him. What's wrong with me? You all warned me, and I ignored it. I LET OUR FRIENDSHIP BREAK APART. BECAUSE OF HIM. I'M SO WEAK AND DESPERATE AND SO MUCH WORSE." she says, crying and gripping onto my shirt.

"Malia, don't you dare say that. You're the exact opposite of weak and desperate. I can't say I know it hurts because realistically I haven't had a piece of shit parent or an abusive person to me. I don't know what it's like to hate and love someone at the same time. But what I do know is that you're the bravest person I know. You have the purest heart and soul and we're the luckiest people to be affected by that,"

"Sometimes we all ignore warnings for the people we love. We're all going to be there for you and love you. You had to deal with your own pain but were there for me when my parents died." I say.

"But what do we do? I feel so bad asking you to help me. How do I get help and recover from this? No one wants a broken, damaged, and used girl. He shattered me, how do I know I'll ever be good enough for anyone ever again? That they'll accept a girl with this much baggage. I'm so tired of this. A part of me wants to go back to him and wrap myself in his arms. Another part wants to look him in the eyes and why he would do that and why he's so psycho." she says as I brush her tears with my thumbs.

"No, no yo-you look at this. He says he loves me. I felt like I was trying to not just convince him but me to every time he hit or raped me," every word she says makes a brutal wave of pain hit my chest with an affect harder than the last one.

She doesn't stop there; she gets out of my embrace and undresses herself. I shake my head at her no.  Once she's covered in nothing making me look at everything he did to her she continues "I was fractured, my scars were inside and out and they faded in every way but now, now they're coming back." After this she collapses into a heap of tears on the floor.

I sat down on the floor pulling her head to my chest, feeling my anger slowly leave and turn into sadness because the person I love the most had to deal with so much pain and now had to continue to endure it.  

One of the worst feelings is trying to be strong for someone when you feel like breaking yourself.

Before I get to let a word out she gets out of my grasp and wipes her tears while changing into her clothes and looks down at me with her red eyes. She whispers "I'm going to take a bath now." as she walks away. I'll love her forever.

The cycle never ends. It continues but not if I can help it. Because this time it's going to end, and I'm going to help.

A/N: Don't make fun of her biting her lip it's a bad habit of mine too LOL. Poor Malia. Who else is ready for the next chapter but scared at the same time? Ps. Be scared, bahahah. ilygsfm! <3

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