Adam Banks Imagines

Yall i need some help

He's always been a best friend to me and I've never thought any more than that of him, but lately I've been going down a rabbit hole. I've had these feelings before, or I tell myself I did. It happened about a year ago when I was 14 and he was turning 13. I told my friend that I liked him and every time I texted him I'd get nervous, but that maybe lasted a week and he was out of mind. Then I saw him a year later or so when we saw each other again in Deadwood and something felt different. I was nervous to meet him again. Sounds weird since we've basically known each other our whole lives. I tried avoiding him the first night but that didn't last too long. The first night all I could think about was him. Why? I'm not sure. The next morning we went out and played in the snow. I didn't think much about feelings then until we got inside. We all decided to go do old timey photos. I was actually excited about doing it. We went downtown and went to the old timey photo place. I remember when I was getting dressed and I felt so confident in my dress! It was perfect. Then I saw him and something inside me came alive. I just smiled at him. It was almost like a spark and after that little moment the rest of the evening was different. I looked at him differently and couldn't stop smiling. When we got a photos taken I had to look away from him so I wouldn't end up smiling or something like that. Then it was the boys' turn to get their picture taken and the photographer told them to look at us. To me it seemed like he was looking at me and for a split second I wished he did. It was straight eye contact. After that we had to undress of course and my sister offered to untie my dress. I said "let me live in the moment" and when I looked up at him it from what I remembered he smiled and shook his head. We all got changed and walked downstairs to see our photos. I stood by him the whole time watching the screen flip from picture to picture. After that we walked downtown and got ice cream while our dads went to the bar. I tried keeping my distance from him in the ice cream parlor, but it didn't go too well. After the ice cream we walked into a store and him, his brother, and I started researching Bullock Hotel. I knew he didn't like that stuff, but he did it because it was interesting. I remember standing close by him looking over. He then sat down and i kneeled down next to him. After that moment we went to the escape room and when we walked in the room he was looking in the window fixing his hair. I wanted to look back at him, but I didn't want people looking. The escape room went on and when we got into the second room him and I were working on a lock. We were close and I wanted it to stay that way. Something about that moment I just couldn't get over it. Not too long after we solved all the codes completing the room with only 31 seconds to spare. Next it was time for family pictures. We did one in each room including the lobby, which was my favorite. For me it was a total best friend moment. Him and I stood next to each other with my sign saying "I'm with stupid" pointing towards him and his sign saying "MVP" pointing towards me. For completing the escape room we got free drinks to a casino restaurant. We walked down to the place and I got so excited seeing the adult gaming machines. All I could think about was turning 21 and going to Vegas, but taking him with me. The place was too busy so we walked a little farther and found a nice place to eat. Everyone sat down and I got to sit across from him. I stole a kids menu from my sister and starting coloring. He kept looking at me and I'd look up and we would have this lasting eye contact, but i kept turning away. I put my head into the palms of my hands looked out the window. He asked if I was okay or if something was wrong and of course I said I'm fine or nothing. I'll never forget that. It felt like he actually cared. The trip went on and I slowly fell for the guy I said I'd never like. My mom once asked me if I'd marry him. The point I'm trying to make is I feel like I like him but then sometimes I feel like I'm in the moment. Ever since that trip he's always on my mind. He's the last thing I think about. And I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should wait or tell him, but that could ruin everything. And he doesn't even like me yknow. I'm just a friend to him. Ever since that trip I watch how to tell your crush likes you CONSTANTLY to see if their was signs he did. Why is falling for your "best" friend a thing? Like it's so complicated. When In the restaurant and we would change each other's wallpapers. When it got to my sisters phone to change the wallpaper I remember being so close to him. Like he was just over my shoulder. I wanted it to stay that way. After the downtown day in deadwood and we all went home. All I could do was think about him. I was smiling like crazy because he makes me happy. Glad it was dark so no one could see me. And don't get me started on his laugh. I just love it. It always puts a smile on my face. The night we went up stairs to his parents room to watch tv we laid next to each other and he leaned into me a bit. I don't know if this is just me over thinking but it was a comfortable silence between us. I enjoyed. If anyone somehow finds these notes I'm screwed and will probably die. And it feels awkward writing this stuff down but I have no one to vent to. And I want to talk to him but I just can't. It's usually dry and I feel like I'm annoying him when texting, but when we talk in person it's natural. We are supposed to go ice skating with them soon and I guess I'll find out then. See ya then weird note thing about a boy. The thing is he doesn't even text me so that's gotta be a dead giveaway. (but he is terrible at responding, and everyone knows that)

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Okay, so I wrote this awhile ago about some guy I might like, it's kinda complicated and I need someone to kinda analyze it, and I don't want to tell my friend about it because then it will fell real I guess. like do I go for it? or just wait until we are older?