Surviving the McLane Boys ('On Hold Still...')

Chapter 18 - A Mother's Love is Priceless

Chapter 18

I walk to lunch with Linc, Emma not around for once.

He takes my hand tentatively, “I just want to say… I’m sorry about this past week… you know, with Emma being around all the time…”

“It’s ok,” I say absently, not really processing what’s going on. All weekend humour now gone, the stress of little sleep, truckloads of homework and closely packed deadlines hang over me. On top of that I forgot the most important day of the year. Even more important than my birthday, or Christmas.

We walk into the cafeteria and head over towards the lunch line. “Are you ok?” he asks, a concerned look on his face, “You’ve been pretty zoned out the past three days. Have I done something?”

I give him a small smile, “No, it’s not you… I just feel terrible at the moment…”

We move up in the lunch line, “Why? Is there anything I can do to help?” he squeezes my hand but I only feel a slight comfort from it. Maybe it’s because I feel like crap for forgetting such an important day…

I sigh, “It’s mom’s birthday tomorrow, my real mom’s birthday, and I completely forgot about it. I only remembered this morning and I just feel so bad for forgetting.”

Linc puts his arms around me and I lean against him, “Don’t worry, what matters is that you remember now.” He kisses my hair, “If there’s anything you need, just tell me, ok?”

“Yeah… I will. Thanks Linc.”

He kisses my head again and lets go, “No problem.” He reaches over me and grabs two trays, handing me one and we walk down the food displays showing off Thursday’s Specials.

Maybe I should ask if him if he wants to meet her…

I see Emma waving at us from the table she’s sitting at with my friends – Linc in particular – and a new determined feeling consumes me. I will ask him…. But maybe tomorrow.

*

That night, after dinner, I sit on the ground in the living room and read through my English essay which is due tomorrow while Claire tries out her French braiding skills on my hair.

“So…” she says as soon as I put my essay down, “About tomorrow…”

“It’s fine Claire.” I say quietly, “I was just thinking of visiting her by myself before school or something… If that’s ok. I’ve always gone by myself on her anniversary…”  

Claire squeezes my shoulder and continues to braid, “Of course it is Sweetpea, I just wanted to know if you needed a lift or anything.”

I start trailing patterns on the ground slowly, “Thank you Claire, but I should be able to get there…”

“Ok, but call me if you need a lift tomorrow.”

I look down at my hands in silence for minute, “Claire? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can.” She finishes the braid and starts to tie the end up with a rubber band.

“I know I just said I want to go by myself… but do you think it’d be ok if I asked Linc? I mean, mom’s birthday has always been just me and her, but I’m thinking of introducing him to her…”

She        gets up off the couch and sits on the ground in front of me, taking my hands. She smiles gently at me and I see the love she has for me and my mother, tinged with sadness swirling in her amber eyes, “I’m sure Rose would love that Hale. I don’t think she’d care if you were visiting by yourself or with an entourage of drag queens. She’d be happy to see that you are happy. That’s the Rose I know and remember. There’s nothing wrong with who you bring, what matters is that you’re there, happy and safe, just how she wants it.”