Relax Ja'Kari! I whined in a baby voice picking my son up. He was about to drive me crazy! I grabbed his bottle out the warmer and started to feed him. Austin was layin on the bed sleeping and now that he was finally quiet I could go back to studying. I was over whelmed with the amount of work I had.
My baby was starting to fall asleep so I burped him and layed him down in his crib and took Austin to his room. At this point I don't know if I wanted to study, eat, sleep, or take a shower.
My phone started ringing and it was Monster again. I grabbed my phone in frustration and turned it off. I'm tired of seeing his name popping up. Nigga don't understand "Leave me alone!" You made your bed now lay in it. I had no desire to even be around him or anything cause he foul as hell for what he did.
I went to go run my shower water and grab my clothes out for the night as I read my books. I jumped in the shower quickly than got out and lotioned down before making myself something to eat. The rain was heavy tonight as it hit the back door and patio. I could see Monsters Car driving back to the guess house to Kay'Seans and Yonnas. He must be staying back there with them. I grabbed the ice cream from the freezer and a bowl. Now that I was having a moment to myself I was going to enjoy this!
The more I sat alone I started to think. All my insecurities was showing and I felt vulnerable. I stood by the window watching Monster get his stuff from the car in the ran struggling. Why do I always get the bad ones? Why can't I find someone who will actually love me for me despite everything. Someone who don't lie and cheat. Micah and Monster both chose other females over me! What was wrong with me? Why am I not good enough?
He looked up making eye contact with me and I wiped my tears shaking my head. I turned to walk away and hit the lights. I was gonna have to make a hard decision soon. Am I to young to be married? Did we rush into things? Should we just give it all up and go our separate ways?
