Once Upon Online

chapter 158

I'm on my way to Ervin's room right now to apologize to him. It was a rough morning today. Eva and Elias are both sick. Ervin has his broken arm. I decided to keep Ervin home from school today because I thought it would be easier for me to have all three kids at home. I don't know what I was thinking.

Ryujin couldn't take the day off today because she's meeting with a customer from another country so rescheduling is out of the question.

While Elias was crying and Eva asking for food, Ervin thought it was the best time to make a mess in the kitchen.

It was not a morning I expected so I was short tempered. I feel bad for not giving him a chance to explain. I just snapped at him and told him to go his room. I didn't believe him when he apologized at first. I thought he was just playing around. I think about his facial expression and he was so sad that I didn't listen to him.

"Ervin" I knock on his door, "Can I come in?" I ask.

"Yea" he says with his sad voice.

I go in and he's sitting on his bed, looking at his butterfly book.

"Can I sit here?" I ask pointing at the spot next to him.

We always try to respect their boundaries. He's probably not happy with me right now so I'm not gonna force him to sit next to me if he doesn't want to.

"Sure" he says without looking at me.

"I want to say I'm sorry for raising my voice at you this morning" I apologize right away.

"There's no excuse. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. Sometimes mommy gets those big feelings too and I don't always know how to express it. I'm learning just like you" I say.

He finally looks at me.

"I should have listened to you when you tried to explain what happened and I should have listened to your apology. Baba and I can make mistakes too" I continue.

This is something I wish adults did. We have to admit when we're at fault even to children. I know so many adults that thinks apologizing to a child is not right. They assume just because they're children, we can't learn anything from them.

I have to admit. I was one of those people. I had the mentality of I'm an adult so the child should listen to me. There's so many parents that value their pride over their children that even when they're in the wrong, they'll just gloss over it and act like it didn't happen.

When kids are young, we help create memories but we also can cause their trauma. Just because their children, it doesn't mean they're feelings aren't as important.

Ryujin and I always apologize to the kids whenever we raise our voices at them because we always talk about communicating properly to them but we're humans so we're not perfect. We also express that to them that it's okay to make a mistake. It's how you fix it is what matters.

"I'm listening now if you still want to tell me why you made a mess in the kitchen" I softly say to him.

"I wanted to make a snack for Eva since she's sick but with my broken arm, I kept dropping things" he explains and my heart breaks.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Can I hug you?" I ask, again we practice respecting boundaries.

He scoots closer to me and hugs me.

"I'm sorry that mommy didn't listen" I kiss the top of his head.

"I'm sorry I made a mess. I was just trying to help" he says.

"I appreciate that but your arm is broken so let mommy take care of you, okay?" I say and I feel his head nod.

"I love you" I say to him.