✅Behind the smile || Kim Taehyung X Readers

16 | Deep affection

Your POV

Taking quick steps I entered the empty park with a single familiar person in sight. As I walked ahead and stood in front of Taehyung who was sitting on a swing , a smile glittered our faces on it's own. " You are fast." He implied his words while nudging his head to the side where another swing was present. His voice told me about his mood which wasn't good at all.

I took the sign and ended up sitting on the other swing. " I might be some inches shorter than you , but I walk fast enough." I tried to joke a bit to which Taehyung gave me a nod with a glint in his eyes after acquiring this information.

"So where are we supposed to go from here?" This question from my side sounded utterly weird knowing I was the one to also ask for strolling around. "Uhh nevermind, let's just walk around, then enjoy the sunset." I quickly answered my own question and Taehyung simply agreed to it.

Taking in his appearance, it was sure that this time Taehyung cried. His eyes still had a glistening glint in them and puffed more than usual. He was quieter than everyday and his movements showed the uneasiness he held. He was present there physically but failed to be fully there mentally  . All my mind could set out as a solution was that he needed a distraction.

I stood up from the swing and advanced my hands towards Taehyung along with a flash of smile. His fallen gaze settled on my hands welcoming him and then he looked up at me with slightly wide eyes. "Let's go." I said taking a step closer . He hesitantly raised his hands but soon after held mine. I didn't fail to notice the smallest twitch at the corner of his lips . That was a success.

The falling evening was peaceful with moderate breeze which flowed from time to time. The sun was glowing with a shade of orange and red , its warmth was satisfying. The silence in the interior part of Daegu was beautiful and at this time there were minimal people on the road.

Walking hand in hand with Taehyung had become quite usual for me although the guy still hesitated a bit. It always felt so right and the feeling of having someone by your side made it even more content. "Thank you… " his voice made me snap my gaze by my side .

A thank you wasn't something I was expecting. "Thank you for trying to lift up my mood , for not asking what is wrong… " our steps suddenly paced down as I faced Taehyung who was staring at our entangled hands. '' You don't have to thank me for this, Taehyung. "

" I was feeling down, utterly sh*t to be honest….. I wanted to cry , breakdown. I was scared as it was actually happening, I couldn't hold back my tears like I've always done. I was terrified of getting caught at my most vulnerable moment and so… I ran away. " A layer of tears covered those beautiful eyes of Taehyung as he spoke. I didn't answer but rather listened to what he was saying next.

It felt like if I would interrupt then he might not start speaking again. Right now I could see the Taehyung from five years back , a tired , scared boy who wanted nothing but to be held when he cried. It felt as if he had slipped back into that time and I didn't want to snap him back for his own sake.

No matter how strong you are , keeping things to yourself does nothing but makes your heart fragile as time passes. You fail to share your agony and it keeps on hitting you making you frail. I didn't want the same to happen with Taehyung.

" Before it used to be hard but slowly I grew used to it. Going back home to get hit by my own father , building up multiple lies when getting questioned about how I got my face bruised , limping feet… It was a part of my regular life." With this revelation , realisation dawned over me. All those times when he looked extremely beaten up, it was his father. The boy was brutally abused for years and everyone trusted the lies he built.

" I was a kid and my innocent mind made me believe that - my father loved me , he would just beat me to maybe relieve his stress or just to straighten me up ? I always used to make myself believe that I was at fault and that's why my father was always angry….. but then as I grew up I got to know something which changed my whole life into something more horrendous. "

" The dull light of innocent belief was blown away with the truth." Taehyung stopped speaking briefly. The eyes which were fixed on our hands slowly slid them up to look directly into my curious ones.

I could feel my heart twist at the sight of tears escaping those speaking eyes of Taehyung's. They held a strange firmness but there was one thing even more than that. Fear. He was in pain. I was aware of that but what was he scared of ? When he spoke the next words I knew the answer immediately.

"Will you leave me if I show you the truth ? The reality of mine which I have always hidden from everyone? Will you still be by my side , Y/n ? " He was scared of being abandoned. He was scared to…lose me. Our hands still held each other; the only difference was how the grip tightened from both sides. I didn't want to leave him… the way we clicked , the strange connection we had and the way he was the questions to my answers and answers to my questions, I knew I would not be able to leave him ever .

"If you trust me enough, then tell me Tae. But do it only when you are ready… I promise, I will not leave your side." A relieved yet broken smile littered on his face as Taehyung nodded his head at me. Although he did believe my words yet I had an urge within me to do something which would seal my promise.

Only heaven knows what kind of confidence this silence of evening had stirred in me and made me do something which I had never expected from myself.

I released my hand from Taehyung's grip only for them to hold his tear smothered face. My thumbs wiped away his tears which were the signs of his broken self before I held onto him with utmost care. For a moment we looked into each other's eyes giving one another the silent consents. And then I leaned closer and covered the gap between me and Taehyung with the warmth of our lips clasped together.

A part of me was scared that Taehyung would not want this but once I felt his lips move along with mine , the fear was wiped away by the fluttery feeling in my heart. My stomach churned with a burning sensation when Taehyung's hands slowly wrapped around my waist as I was pulled closer to him.

I took the right chance to hold onto his nape and push his face closer to mine , deepening the kiss we were sharing. The familiar feeling of home was always present in between us and today we took one more step ahead to accept it and cherish it. From the first day when we met under the wailing clouds there was an understanding which we held towards each other.

Right then that understanding had turned itself into something stronger , more beautiful, firmer than before. It was a promise held with the tenderness of a deep affection.

Since the beginning of this series, I wanted to show the depth of Y/n and Taehyung's relationship which would not depend on those three magical words. This chapter turned out to be a confession and I hope I could show the grace of their love without using the word "love"

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