LET'S BREAK UP - HYUNMINSUNG PT. 4

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SHIP: Hyunminsung (Hyunjin x Minho x Jisung)

PLOT: Apologies are in order but, will they be enough?

WARNINGS: Sad hours (again)

REQUEST: Y'all are so hungry for this series, I'm not even complaining... Thank you so much for the support. Your comments and excitement every time I post make me so happy :)

JISUNG P.O.V.

Changbin's yelling echoed all throughout the dorms. Some of us visibly flinched when he slammed the door behind him and sat back down at the dining table.

Tears were running down my cheeks all over again. Not because of Changbin, of course, but because I was starting to realize how much they had fucked up. It made my heart throb in pain to realize they hadn't paid any attention to how their actions affected me.

"I'm going to my room," I said, getting up, not bothering to finish my barely touched breakfast.

Chan was ready to get up as well.

"No, Hyung, please. I appreciate everything all of you have done for me but I really need to be alone right now. Think about some stuff that only I know about and don't feel like sharing with anyone else."

All of them nodded.

"If you need anything," Felix said, looking at me with worry, "just tell us. If you feel like you can't, sent us a message, anything, just let us know, okay? We're here for you, and on your side."

I nodded, whispering a quick 'thank you,' not wanting to talk any louder in risk of my voice cracking, as I shuffled back into my room.

I sat down on my bed and let the thoughts I had been trying to push away so hard rush inside of my brain. 

This wasn't a regular relation there was no disagreement that led to a fight, that led to resentment, which led to apologies and a fucking happy ending.  They broke the only two rules we had for our relationship. They broke our trust, and our communication and proved to me that they had no idea how my anxiety feels or works, even though I had spent countless nights explaining my worries to them.

If they were to apologize, to realize they had messed up if they promised to never do it again, would they be worthy of my forgiveness?

HYUNJIN P.O.V.

"Fuck," Minho said quietly, running his hands through his hair, pulling at it, "fuck, fuck fuck fuck!" his voice was getting louder each time he cursed. He grabbed a pillow from his bed and threw it against the floor.

His eyes were watery, full of regret and guilt, just like mine.

"Hyung, it's our fault..."

"I know..."

"We were the ones who fucked up and we blammed Jisung for everything!" I raised my voice, looking up at him in exasperation.

"I fucking know that Hyunjin!"

"We," I swallowed, in an attempt to get rid of the lump in my throat, but it didn't work, "we didn't tell him that night we cuddled, he must've seen us and gotten anxious. And after, he started to get away, we thought he was being hurtful so we ignored him. We hurt him so bad, shit, he must've felt awful. And then we were so damn horny and mad at Jisung we decided to fuck and we didn't even have de dicentcy to hide it from him. All though I don't know what would've been worse, tell him or hide it."

"And then," Minho continued, wiping the tears from his cheeks, "we made him listen to our stupid, selfish rant about how we were better without him. We acted like those people who decide to cut off all of the toxic people in their life, even though they love them. In reality, we are those toxic assholes. Which gives Jisung every right in the world to cut us off from his life, permanently..."

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