If the world went backwards - Issac foster X reader

A New Promise

*Y/n POV*

His lips crashed into yours as he kissed you, and without realizing it, you were kissing him back. You rotate your body closer to his and tangle your hands into his already messy hair. He placed one hand behind your head and the other around your waist, pulling you even closer. He pulled your hair forcing your face to tilt up, deepening the kiss. You opened your mouth for a gasp of air and Zack wasted no time slipping his tongue into your mouth. His free hand continued to roam your body, moving back and forth from you waist to your hip. You felt the urge to do the same. As you began to move your hands from Zack's hair to his arms, Zack suddenly pulled away. "What is it?" You panted, as you tried to catch your breath. You were relieved to see his breathing was also uneasy, but that relief soon shifted to fear as you realized he wasn't making eye contact with you but was instead staring at his hands, or rather the bandages that covered them. "Zack?" You softly ask. "How?" He responds softly. You give him a confused look as he finally meets your eyes. "How can you stand being around me? How can you look at me with such a soft look in your eyes? These scars that cover my body are a constant reminder to anyone who ever laid eyes on me. Why don't you look at me for what I really am? A monster! I'm a fucking monster Y/n! I have killed hundreds of people before I met you, my hands are forever stained red! And yet you look at me as if I'm the purest most delicate soul in the world. As if I'm not repulsing. As if I'm not a waste of space. As if I'm worth anything." Zack sighs and stops speaking for a moment, and you're left with a loss for words. "I just..." his voice breaks, "You have to know this won't end well. And I don't want to see you hurt, that I'm sure of. I cant keep being selfish. The sooner you see me for what I really am, a monster, the better it'll be for the both of us." He makes an attempt to roll over, hoping to end the conversation, but you stop him with a hand on his arm. He gives you a pained look but you speak anyway. "You're not a monster Zack! I may not have known you for very long but I know that much. I don't regret meeting you. My life was hell long before you found your way into it. Even if the world went backwards, I would still do everything the same if it meant meeting you." He gives you a look that's impossible for you to tell what he's thinking. You lay next to him utterly still, scared if you move even an inch he will lose whatever war he was internally facing. After a few more beats of silence he finally says, "I can't give you what you want, a normal life will never be achievable with me. If you stay with me you'll constantly be on the run, not just from the police, but from the assholes that just kidnapped us. That can't be a life you want for yourself." "Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't want!" You snap back, all fear that resides in your body was now replaced with fiery determination. You propped yourself up onto you elbow hovering slightly over him as you continue, "I gave my life up the second my mom got sick. I gave my entire life to those medical bills in hope that one day she would be okay. But in the end, it didn't matter. She died anyway. Trust me when I say I don't have a life to go back to. The day she died you showed up on my doorstep and my life was forever changed, for better or for worse, I couldn't tell you, but it was changed none the less. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I care about you Zack, more than I should. I don't care what type of person you were before you met me. All I care about is the man I see right in front of me, and what I see is someone who is broken and doesn't know how to heal. I see someone who is like me. I've never met anyone like me before." You both remained silent for a moment. After a while his hand comes up to brush a tear from your face. You didn't even realize you were crying. He shifts pulling you in close and you rest your head on his shoulder. "I still think your making a mistake with me, but I won't argue anymore. That is if you make me a promise." You look up at him and he continues, "If a moment ever comes where I become a threat to you, promise me you will run as far as you possibly can from me and never look back." You reluctantly nod your head, but he shakes his head back, "No, I need you to say you promise." "I promise." You say. "Good." That seemed to calm whatever inner demons lurked in him for now and you felt him slowly sink into sleep beside you. You couldn't help thinking over what he made you promise. To bad you never were good at keeping them.