The Wrong Type of Love (Teacher/Student Relationship)

Chapter Twenty Two

The dark had proven to be a trustworthy friend in the few days that followed. The hospital had become a second home to Annie and I as we spent every second of the day there. The hospital allowed us to ignore the visiting hours because of the circumstances.

Both Dan and Jack hadn't woken up. Jack was getting worse with each day and the doctor had predicted that we had two days at the most with him.

A day after his first surgery, the doctor discovered that some of his stiches had broken and this had caused some internal bleeding. So he was rushed back into surgery. The day after that his left lung collapsed and so, again, he went into surgery. Then on the third day they discovered a brain bleed, they tried their hardest to fix it but it wasn't enough.

We were taken into a seperate room so that no one could hear us and we were told to make a decision. Jack would keep having brain bleeds and it was only a matter of time before it killed him. So it was up to us whether we should turn his machine off, well it was up to his parents more than me.

It took a long time before they decided to turn it off, but they were going to wait a couple of hours so that we could all say our goodbyes. Jack's family was small, it consisted of him, his mum, his dad and a grandmother who was so old she could barely move.

I hadn't told Annie, I had seen her a few times each day and each time I did, she looked more tired than before. She didnt need to know about Jack, I didn't want to put more weight on her shoulders,she had enough to deal with.

His parents went first when saying their goodbyes, I stood in the corner and waited. It was one of the worst things I have ever seen, his dad only managed to get half way through his goodbye before he began to cry and had to leave. His mum finished her goodbye and gave him a kiss on his head before leaving. Then it was my turn.

"Hey Jack." I said, taking a seat on the bed next to him. It was silent, I had closed the door so no one could hear. The only sound was the noises his machine kept on making.

"I can't believe this is happening to you, you...the one person who never does anyhing wrong and is perfect. It should have happened to me, the amount of wrong I have done and I feel like this is the only time I can actually tell you the truth."

I took a deep breath and rearranged my seating position, preparing myself for what I was about to say.

"It is my fault that you are here like this because if I had chosen you then you wouldn't have been at that party with Dan. You would never have left with him and you never would have got into that car with him. If only I had chosen you and not him and then maybe my life would be better. What I'm about to tell you may make you hate me and that is the last thing I want in these last moments."

I took another deep breath, this one a lot shakier than the last. The words felt like poison in my mouth. Never in a million years did I think that these words would be coming out my mouth. But I guess that it was a week of things I never expected.

"When I said that I just wanted to be friends it was not because of you, because trust me, I did want to be with you but my heart belonged to another. Remember the man that sat at the bar the night after the show? Well he's a teacher at my school. His name is Noah and well, he's the one I chose. I am beginning to believe that I made such a bad decision and I am almost certain I am going to regret it."

The next words that came to my mind and slipped out my mouth made me want to take a step back.

"But even though I may regret it, that doesn't mean that I am going to lie about my feeling for him. You see, I love him. It feels strange to be saying that but it is one of the truest things I have ever said in my life. He is all I think about day and night and when I am away from him, it feels like someone is squeezing my heart. It annoys me that I feel like this but I guess sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. I mean, you fell in love with me and that just proves it."

I took hold of his hand.

"But I also love you, in an entirely different way. And when you go, I am going to find it difficult to forget you."

At that moment a nurse walked in and gave me the look. I nodded and held on tighter to his hand. Then the nurse clicked the button and told me that I only had a few more minutes with him. She then left as if nothing was happening. I guess she does this thing everyday.

"So, this is it. My final moments with you. Jack, please remember that I will always love you. No matter where you are."

I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart slow down. His chest stopped moving a few moments later and his heart stopped beating. I never expected the pain I felt in those second after to hurt as much as it did. It felt as if someone was slowly running a knife across my chest. My chest tightened and I began to breathe faster. I collapsed on the floor, that is where the nurse found me when she came into the room. She helped me over into the waiting room where Jack's parents were. As soon as they saw me, breathing weirdly and with tears running down my face, they knew he had gone.

His mother fell off the chair, his father sat next to her and held her in his arms. After awhile he grabbed my hand and dragged me over to them. We sat there, huddled in the middle of the room for the next half an hour. That is when I couldn't take it anymore and I had to leave.

There was only one place I wanted to go to at that moment. I pulled out my phone and called the only person I wanted to be with.

"Noah, please pick me up from the hospital."