You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part fifteen

Phil P.O.V.

He was kissing him passionately, their lips colliding with each others as they forced themselves on one another, chests pressing together. His hands gripping the other's hair, the other sliding his own hands up his partner's shirt.

I couldn't breathe.

I felt dizzy.

I felt sick.

My heart shattered.

Dan.

My Dan.

Kissing PJ.

My best friend.

I tried to scream, tried to get them to stop but they didn't hear me. They couldn't hear me. No matter how much air I forced out my lungs, it wouldn't make a sound.

So I had to stand there, trapped, and watch.

* * *

I woke with a start, and used the back of my hand to wipe the cold sweat off my forehead. Feeling too hot and little claustrophobic, I got out the bed and out the room, pausing for a moment to look back at Dan who was still sleeping undisturbed.

I opened a window and sat down on the sofa, my dream replaying in mind. The thought of Dan cheating on me was bad enough, but Dan cheating on me with PJ? That was even worse. My stomach squirmed at the thought but I tried to forget the dream and made myself a coffee, needing the caffeine to wake up as the time got closer to late morning.

I got the bread out the cupboard and put in some slices into the toaster and turned it on as something warm slipped around my waist.

"Morning," Dan was hugging me from behind and I smiled at the gesture.

"Morning love, sleep well?" I turned so I was facing him and put my arms around his neck.

"Yeah," his croaky morning voice added a side of innocence to him and I smiled.

"Dan, you're so cute." 

"Thanks," he mumbled, his cheeks flushing.

"Do you have any plans for today?" 

"Just spending it with you."

"That's not a problem," and I leaned in so our lips could meet.

* * *

"Dan! Dan!"

"What?! What is it?! Phil! Are you okay?!" The door flung open and Dan ran in looking panicked.

"I'm fine! Well, sort of, my camera isn't working," I frowned at the object that I had taken apart on my bed to try and fix.

"Let me look," Dan sat next to me and tried to repair it but gave up after five minutes. "Oh I don't know, Peej is good at this sort of stuff."

"I'll text him."

Peej, could you come over and see what's wrong with my camera?

Sure, when do you want me round?

Anytime whenever it suits you, I'll be in all day.

I'll text you when I'm on my way.

* * *

"I need to go out and get a few things, do you mind if you stay here with Dan?" I asked PJ who was sitting at the table trying to fix my problem. 

"No, Dan's terrifying," I noted the sarcasm and started laughing. 

"I heard that!" Dan yelled and PJ joined in with the laughter as Dan rolled his eyes. I went over to him and kissed him on the forehead, feeling the stare we were getting from PJ.

 "I'll be back in half an hour, I'll see you guys later," I waved and left and put in some earphones as I made my way to the shop. 

Bumping into some screaming subscribers on the way, I tried to hide my worry and insecurity as I talked to them but I couldn't stop the paranoid thoughts creeping into my head. 

Did Dan like PJ? Surely if he did he would just leave me wouldn't he? He wouldn't cheat on me, I knew he wouldn't. 

Who are you trying to convince? I shuddered at the thought.

I couldn't concentrate as I walked around the store and threw anything that looked vaguely appetising into the basket without thinking about what it was. I paid and walked back home, trying to find a way to prove Dan innocent so I could forget my concerns. 

I opened the door to the apartment and heard voices. 

"PJ, what are you doing?" Dan. 

"Don't lie Dan, we both know what happened at the party," I froze, my insides telling me I was close to vomiting. So something did happen. No, please Dan, don't do this to me. 

"PJ... I... I can't do this." 

 "Shh its okay, I know you love me," I had heard enough. I slammed the door and took a few deep breaths and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. 

Act normal. Pretend you heard nothing. 

"Hey guys," I walked into the living room and a forced a smile. PJ was standing by the table holding my camera. 

"All fixed!" 

"Peej, you're amazing."

"I know," he said, looking particularly pleased with himself. "Well, I should get back to Chris, I'll see you later guys." 

I relaxed when I heard the door open then close again and took the shopping bags into the kitchen and smiled at Dan when he followed me in, resisting the urge to scream at him. 

"I love you Phil," that caught me off guard for a few moments. 

"I love you too," I cracked another smile and pulled Dan into a hug.