Mistakes We Can't Laugh About (Loser #2)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

We fell into such a deep silence that all I could hear was his heavy breathing and my own racing heart.

The sun was setting, and the sky was a kaleidoscope of colors — the same sky I'd been gazing at when he first told me he liked me.

Sa labas 'yon ng university noon kung saan naghihintay kami ng jeep, mga nakaputing uniporme, barya ang nasa bulsa, at parehong wala pang alam sa mundong naghihintay.

A lot of things had really changed.

Ngayon, nasa parking lot kami dahil may sasakyan na siya, nakasuot ng mamahaling damit at sapatos, may mga dolyar sa branded na bag at pitaka, at parehong pinagtibay na ng panahon.

"Don't think about anything, Amari," he said after a long pause. "I know you're over me . . . I'm just shooting my last shot."

Parang may kung anong kumirot sa dibdib ko. Isang tango lang ang nagawa ko bago hinawakan ang door handle. My mind and my heart were arguing about which one of them I should listen to, but my lips were having a hard time saying anything that would make sense.

"Thank you for the ride," was all I could say.

Binuksan ko ang pinto at hindi na naghintay na makababa pa siya. I almost ran to the department to keep him from getting to me. Gusto kong patigilin na siya sa kung ano mang pinaplano niya pero may kung malaking parte sa puso ko ang gustong makita kung ano ang magiging dulo ng ginagawa niya.

This was his last shot. Kaya siguro mas naging makulit siya . . . mas naging diretso at mas naging malambing.

"Mari, dumiretso ka na sa room. The students are waiting," saad ni Ms. Lubrica sa akin nang makita ako. "Si Leon ba?"

I took a deep breath as I forced a smile. "Nagpa-park lang po, ma'am."

"Okay. Nakaset-up na ang projector. Go ahead," she dismissed.

The review was a blur to me. I put everything aside to impart all my knowledge upon the class. Kahit nang maramdaman ko ang pagdaan ni Leon sa room kung saan ako nagtuturo ay pinigilan ko ang mag-isip ng ibang bagay na makakaabala sa akin.

I focused on my work and did it well because I wasn't getting paid to think about my ex-boyfriend, who was having trouble getting over me. Mali talagang sumabay pa ako sa kanya. My productivity would surely collapse if he were around; his words, his being, his presence . . . would distract me.

"Next meeting, we'll have a mock exam that will cover what we discussed today, and then look into an overview of Alfred Adler's Individual Psychology," sabi ko sa klase. "Reading in advance is recommended. Hindi puwedeng umasa lang tayo sa ganitong mga review. You guys have to dig into things yourselves, do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'll send you the relevant files, but remember that not everything I discussed, including the sample scenarios I presented, will be reflected there," dagdag ko pa. "Kaya kailangan n'yong mag-take notes at makinig nang mabuti kapag may nagtuturo."

Nakita kong pumasok si Ms. Lubrica sa likuran ng room, nakangiti at handang panoorin ako.

"Do you have any questions?" I asked the class.

"None po, ma'am," they answered in chorus.

I nodded as I kept my straight face. "Okay, then class is dismissed."

I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the room to get to Ms. Lubrica. Rinig ko pa ang pagbuntong-hininga ng ilang estudyante at ang mga bulungan nila dahil masyado akong diretso at strikta.