Pole Dancer

Chapter 15: Cold December

Chapter 15: Cold December

Author's Note: I hated the last chapter because it felt like a filler, but I just wanted to give them a quick exit. But the chapters coming up will speed things along. I hate slow burns but I do believe that love doesn't happen quickly.

Please Enjoy!

It had been several months since I had been back from Charming. My mother had me sign up for classes at the local college and I got a job at a gym where a lot of boxers and MMA trained. I threw myself into my studies and work so that I could forget the disappointment I felt at not being able to make a connection with my father.

Jax had been texting me every now and again but I just never wanted to lead him on especially since I probably would never see him again.

Today, I started a journal for some odd reason. I never felt the need to because I had an amazing friend. It just felt like something I wanted when I went to pick up a book and saw this journal that talked about healing.

I definitely needed some healing.

"You're writing?", my mom asked as she came down the stairs dressed nicely.

"Yep," I popped the "p" as I continued venting to my journal. "Got a lot on my mind."

She stopped beside me to kiss me on the temple.

"Anything I can help with?"

Her hands rubbed my shoulders gently as she leaned over me. I didn't hide the journal because most of the things I wrote were obvious and things I had been trying to cope with majority of my life.

"No. You've helped enough."

The way I said it was sort of harsh but it just so happened to be my truth. I couldn't say that I didn't love her for the way she made life work but I also hated that all the secrets were something I didn't agree with.

"Maybe you're just blinded by what's real. I haven't done anything that wasn't to protect you or your sister, Martie. Don't make me the bad guy in this."

"I'm not making you the villain but I'm not saying that we get to play victim our whole lives either. Look me in the eyes and tell me you would have told me the truth about my father if I didn't find those pictures and letters that led me to go to Charming," I glanced up with a look of curiosity at the one person I trusted to have my best interest no matter what.

"Martie... that's a rabbit hole I never wish to enter."

I shook my head in annoyance.

"There is a guy that wants to know who I am. Who I truly am and all I have is a pile of lies and the one person who could set the truth straight continues to lie to me. You'd rather I continue to live a charade then walk me into the sun with our heads held high. No wonder I admire you so, mother...", I closed my journal and headed up the stairs ignoring my mother's call for me to come back.

She could have put her father away long ago and gotten him away from his power that she believed he had. She could have killed my father if she believed him dangerous to either of us but she didn't. Was running her plan for the rest of her life?

I locked my bedroom door and pulled on my headphones before blasting my music into my ears and opening my side drawer.

I needed a big, fat ass blunt.