Unseen

-12-

Once in the library it is complete silence, which is extremely weird for me because I don't tend to stay quiet. But as I sit across from James and watch him do his work, I don't know what to do. I don't want to disturb him or annoy him in any way and I'm scared that if I open my mouth he'll get angry and ask me to leave. Now that I know he can hear me I don't really want to bother him. If he were like everyone else I would be rambling, per usual.

I'm not sure why he asked me to join him, it's not like we are friends or like he enjoys my company. Maybe he just felt sorry for me and said that so I wouldn't be all alone. It doesn't make much difference though because we are the only souls in the library, or at least this part of the room. James is quiet and focused so I might as well be on my own.

I watch him carefully but when he looks up-which doesn't happen that often-I look away, pretending I've been engaged watching out of of the window the whole time. He probably notices I'm just pretending anyways but if he does, he says nothing and I'm glad for that.

James hasn't told me to keep asking my questions or even mentioned to keep helping me out so I'm assuming what we talked in front of the church is all what we'll ever discuss about the topic. I have certainly learnt my lesson with him and I won't just go rambling or pushing his buttons just to get my answers. He's had enough of ghosts and I don't want to be another bad experience in his life. If possible I'd like him to look back at his life in the future and say: yeah, all my experiences with ghost were bad... except for one. I once met a nice ghost.

If I can do that I think I could say I actually accomplished something important during my life... or no-life. Whatever the proper term is.

He works diligently on his assignments, editing his photographs on his computer. I see him working with an ease that is foreign to me but it seems second nature to him. His fingers move so fast and he clicks here and there and uses a pad and I get a bit dizzy. I'm not on friendly terms with technology. It changes so fast and I can't keep up with it, plus, it's not like I get a chance to try it for myself; I can just see how others use it.

Story of my life, only seeing how others live whilst lamely staying behind.

"You're oddly quiet," comments James, his eyes not parting from the screen. "I thought you couldn't shut up. Are you really feeling well?"

"I'm being cautious," I reply, narrowing my eyes as if like that I could actually figure this guy out and find out exactly what he is planning.

"Cautious?" he echoes, this time his eyes dart briefly to meet mine. "Why?"

"'Cos I'm not sure how to proceed with you," I honestly answer. "I don't wanna make you angry again or bring up a subject that might make you uncomfortable. Plus, I don't want to annoy you anymore. I know my memory sucks big time and I forget many important things but I haven't forgotten how much you hated my constant babbling."

His eyes show a bit of embarrassment and remorse so he looks away, what makes me frown. It's not like he did something wrong, it was me the one annoying him. Fine, he made me know if the cruelest way but it's because I drove him to the edge. I accepted that already. It was my fault.

"I learn from my mistakes. I'm clever like that," I say in a lighter tone so he doesn't feel bad anymore. I even wink and give him the peace sign in my best attempt to look nonchalant.

"So you won't say anything unless I ask you to?" he tries and I think about it for a few seconds.

"That seems the safest and wisest option and although you don't know how to get rid of me, I can't underestimate your ability to find out or bring a priest," I explain and I see him pressing his lips in a tight line to keep himself from laughing. I can see the amusement in his eyes that look like a sky in a summer day... before the clouds gather and it rains again. "If you don't feel like talking, however, you can submit your questions on a sheet of paper and I'll answer them. Preferably multiple choice."