37. Tension

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I barge through the front door the second the cab parks

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I barge through the front door the second the cab parks.

Micah is on the couch, all cuddled up with Aaron. They've both fallen asleep.

I don't care. 

I take Aaron in my arms and almost run upstairs, ignoring Ada and Seb's calls and Micah's shouts. But I know that if I turn around now, I won't be able to get a hold on myself.

My door slams closed just as I hear footsteps running up the stairs. I lock my room for them, wanting some time alone with Aaron.

Having him tucked close to me, I let out a shake breath I've been holding ever since he got pushed down the cliff. I wanted to have him locked up in my arms and I never wanted to let go of him again.

I fall down on the bed, keeping Aaron sprawled all over me. His legs on both sides of my body, arms somehow connected around my neck.

His scent fills my lungs to longer I breathe in his neck. There's a burning ache inside of my chest, and no matter how I shift, it doesn't lessen.

I feel the burning spread through my whole body. It's stinging behind my eyes and numbing my limbs, like it is demanding me to feel numb for anything else than the feeling.

My grip on Aaron tightens a little more. Just like my throat closes up as I see him falling again. It all went so fats I didn't have time to process it back then, but now I do have the time, I curse my ability to replay the whole day second for second.

The sight doesn't back away, not matter how hard I try. It only feeds the burning in my veins. It's mortifying.

"Aiden! Open the fucking door!" Seb shouts, pounding on said door. I startle, only now hearing it. Has he been there the whole time?

"Go away!" I yell back. My sharp intake of breath sounds before I scan my boy's face, but he's still fast asleep. Thank God.

Something about my tone has Seb stopping, but he does whisper, "Just know that we're worried about him too. Please."

The ache explodes. It's like it was swelling the whole time and it's now reached the brink. It's reached a button, which unleashes my sobs.

I can hide my mouth in Aaron's neck just before the first bursts loose, but am unable to stop the rest of the sobs following. The wall I've been holding up to not let anyone in crumbles, and I force myself into the small arms of my most precious treasure.

I can't stop. The sobs keep escaping, and it's not long before the first drop falls onto Aaron's skin. It is the absolute opposite of how I want to be known by everyone.

No one can see me like this, and I feel so so grateful the boy stays asleep. No one has ever seen me like this. No one . . . except one.

I grab my phone and dial her number. She'll know how to help me and how I should send it back to where it came from. As the most trustworthy person I know, she picks up by the second ring. 

"Hello, sweetheart! How are you today? It's been so long! Oh, no, give me a second, your dads are fighting for the TV remote again—Easton! For fuck's sake, get along! Dominic, no—oh my God, do not use those puppy eyes on me. David's already tried that too much. Asher! Stop kicking your brother—no! No! Let go off me! I'm talking to Aiden!"

The chaos of my parents has me taking in a deep breath. It does not lessen any of the tension, but it has me realizing that this could've ended so much worse and that there was a big chance I didn't have him in my arms right now. The thought actually makes me want to bawl even more.

"Mom, can I talk to you? Alone please?" I whisper, hearing my own voice crack. It's never done that before. "It's urgent."

"Ay! Little piece of shit, I have rights to—" "Easton, do not finish that sentence," I hear mom snap before the soft click of a door sounds. Silence dawns. She's alone.

"Are you alright, Aiden? You sound a bit off," she tells me, as if I didn't know already. I gasp for breath, but it's out of reach. So instead, I just sob, "Mom," in the hopes she knows what's going on.

"Are you—are you crying? Oh God, I am googling Arizona right now! Please tell me Ada didn't kill Sebastian for some awful reason. I always knew that woman was hopeless, but not Sebastian. Please?"

I would've laughed at any other moment. But now now. God, not now.

"It's- it was Aaron," I softly cry. "He-he got pushed down the cliff and would've been dead had it not been for Seb and his fast reflexes. One split second later, and he would've died, mom."

My whole body feels too tight at the image.

"Hey, honey? You're not okay at all! Shit, and I wasted all those time playing around with your dads while you were panicking from the beginning of this call. But don't worry, sweetheart. I'm gonna help you. Just like that time when you were sixteen, yes?"

More than a decade ago. That's how long it's been since I've put a hold on showing emotions. 

"It's okay to feel like this. What you saw was horrible and traumatizing! Why don't we try to take deep breaths?"

I nod, though she can't see me. We take a breath in at the same time. I hear it over the phone. 

My lungs fill with Aaron's scent again, calming my panicked thoughts. But it's only when mom starts talking again that I can completely forget about them.

"I have a surprise for you next time you come home. Guess what? Your favorite take out restaurant is open again! The renovations are done, so they can make food again in their kitchen. We're ordering next time you visit, yes? Oh! And my last recipe of chocolate cake was pretty successful, so we're trying it again then too. I must say, I've gotten better over the years," she rambles.

I don't mind her rambling over the most random things. In fact, it distracts me enough to catch my breath and die out my sobs. It's what she did last time too, when I found out my best friend had died.

"I don't think you could've gotten much worse," I tell her, earning one of her rich laughs. "It's not like you're that much better, mister 'I blew up the kitchen once'! Now tell me, are you feeling better?"

"Yeah," I whisper, closing my eyes as the humiliation gets back at me. I shouldn't have called. 

"Don't feel bad! You're allowed to feel shocked after seeing such things. But really, how long would you have taken to tell me had this not happened?"

I don't feel bad about not telling her. The less people know about this, the better. "Probably not until it'd have burned in the flames."

"Don't say that. Camilla said that, with the way you look at him, this can never end badly. Is my little baby Aiden falling in love?"

Despite Aaron having a soft place in my heart, I hope to never fall in love.

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